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The shock of hearing those words escape my mouth is nearly as intense as the orgasm, and it's almost too much for me to handle. The fact that I came back to my senses and those were the words I said freaks me the hell out. I try to push him off me, and of course, that's like an ant trying to move a boulder.
I let out a kind of primal cry and, thankfully, he moved away. I leap up, weeping like an idiot, and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me as my entire world falls apart.
Russel
She leaves before I can say I love you too.
That’s a good thing, I suppose. Even if it’s true that I love her too, I can’t actually say that to her, can I? I mean, her very presence here is a danger to me, to the other bear shifters in this forest, potentially to bear shifters everywhere. I can’t actually tell her that I love her. I can’t give her a reason to stay.
Damn it! Damn it all to Hell, I should never have fucked her. I should never have…
That thought trails off because it’s a pointless thought. Of course, I had to fuck her. There was no way to stop myself. It would be like asking me to stop shifting. The moment I saw her again, I wanted her, and the moment she indicated that she still wanted me, I took her. There was no changing that any more than I could turn the sun into a glass of apple juice.
But what do I do now?
My father would always ask me that question when I would explain a mistake I made. He would listen patiently as I expressed the poor decision and my fear of the consequences. Then he would say, “What will you do now, son?”
The lesson there is clear. We can’t change the past. Once an action is taken, it’s taken. There’s no un-taking it. All we can do is try to make a better decision next time.
The better decision here is to wait for her to come out and apologize for saying something embarrassing. Then we can have a good laugh over it, and I can ask her where she needs to go and take her there. I have a vehicle, an old Jeep, that I keep on those rare occasions when I need to go to town to catch up on any news relevant to bear shifters. I can drive her to that town and make sure she contacts whoever she needs to in order to get home from there. If it really comes to it, I can take her home myself.
That’s the better decision, but it’s not the decision I make.
My father’s voice asks, What will you do now, son?
I answer, I will tell her I love her and stop at nothing to make her mine.
Nothing is a big word, son, my father’s memory reminds me.
That was another one of his sayings. He warned me often that doing nothing was a choice as sure as any other choice and would have far-reaching consequences just like any other choice. In fact, doing nothing is often worse because the mind can very quickly get comfortable with inactivity. It can very quickly convince itself of some very bad decisions.
Nevertheless, Melody is mine, and I will make her mine forever no matter what it takes.
So, I walk to the bathroom and call through the door. “I love you too, Melody van Park.”
She mumbles something incoherent. That’s hard to do when you’re talking to a bear.
“What’s that?” I ask.
She mumbles again, and my brow furrows. “I can’t hear you,” I say.
The bathroom door opens and Melody stares at me and says, “It’s van Port, not van Park. Have you seriously never heard of us?”
She smiles as she looks at me, and though I can see tears in her eyes, the way she beams tells me she fixated on the first part of what I said and not the last.
I return her smile with a grin of my own and say, “I can’t say that I have. Should I have?”
She giggles, a beautiful sound that reminds me of the most beautiful songbirds in the world. “Well, I’m glad you haven’t,” she says, “it’s nice not to be a celebrity everywhere I go.”
Hearing her call herself a celebrity sets off warning bells in my mind, but my desire is stronger than the alarm. “Well, don’t be too disappointed if I say I’m going to worship you anyway,” I reply.
“I’ll try my best,” she says, still grinning.
The next thing I know, her arms are around me, and her lips are pressed against mine.
And I don’t care.
I don’t care that her presence here endangers us.
