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“I can’t. You will find out everything you need to know with time.” He rises, straightening the material of his dark slacks before looking at me again. “I never meant to hurt you or your mother, but she was weak.” The ice that’s so apparent in his voice on a daily basis is back, and I don’t know what’s happened, but it’s as if a switch has been clicked. The man before me is a stranger once more.
“I think you’re the one who’s weak. Answering to monsters just to have a stupid crown and a cloak. That means nothing without a family.”
A small smile dances on his lips, curling his mouth upward at the corners. I know I’ve gotten to him, it’s clear, but something tells me he’s never going to allow me to forget this little outburst.
“You know what, leave me here. I will live with strangers because it’s better than living with a man I call father and not knowing him at all.”
There’s only a small wince in his expression that tells me he’s affected by what I’ve said. Nothing more, the mask is back in place, and I’m looking at him, unsure of what he’s about to do. I half expect him to hit me, strike me in the face, but he doesn’t.
My father stalks by me, heading to the door, before knocking twice. The lock clicks before he opens the door. I want him gone, but he stops for a second glancing over his shoulder to regard me.
“You’re strong, Rukaiya, you’re nothing like her. And soon, when you learn the truth, you’ll see just how right I am. Everything I did was to keep you safe. That’s what my job was. Nothing more, no love, no affection. Believe me when I say that you deserve the best, and this is how it’s meant to play out.”
I want to ask him what the hell he means, but I don’t have time, because in the next second, he’s gone, and I’m banging on a closed, locked door. He hasn’t made sense since he walked into the room, and when he walked out, he left me with more questions than I had before.
The night is cold, and I’m wrapped in my blanket. Momma is gone, I’m not sure where she went, but when Dad told her bad things, she ran out of the house into the darkness. She doesn’t have a car. Daddy’s got the keys. There aren’t any people that Momma is friends with to ask for help, and I know even if she did, they wouldn’t come near us.
Dad made sure that everyone in town stayed away from us. Even at school, the kids don’t come near me, except for Dahlia. For some reason, Daddy likes Dahlia, and he allows me to play at her house a lot.
I shiver when I hear a door shutting down the hallway. There aren’t any lights on, and I can’t see what’s happening. A song plays from somewhere in the house, and I know it’s Dad’s cell phone.
“Yeah?” His gruff voice comes from the other room. “I know. She’s run off into the fucking night, and I can’t go out to find her.” He listens to the person on the other side, and I close my eyes, trying to focus and hopefully hear who he’s talking to. If he slips up and says their name, I’ll know. “I have the girl here,” he tells the caller, and my heart breaks. A tear escapes and trickles down my cheek when he calls me that.
There are times he’d say my name or call me sweetheart, but most times, he just calls me girl. As if he’s a stranger to me. It feels like he is most of the time.
“I’m not going back there. And you can come here if you want to see her. There’s nothing more I can do but follow the rules.” Dad sounds angry, his voice is low, almost like he’s growling. Like the dog from next door when he’s fighting with something or someone.
It’s quiet again, and I hear Dad’s footsteps coming toward my room. Shutting my eyes, I try to stop shivering. Even though I’m covered in a blanket, I’m cold, freezing.
“She’s asleep, so I think it’s best you do what you do, and I’ll watch them. Yasmine, this isn’t a fucking game,” Dad hisses into the phone. He’s so quiet now; I wonder if he thinks he’s going to wake me. I remember when I was little, he told me I slept like the dead, but now, I’m growing up, and I hear everything. Even when I’m not meant to.
The front door bangs, and Dad curses under his breath as he makes his way into the living room, and my eyes snap open again.
“She’s back,” he speaks, but I don’t know if he’s talking to Momma, who I’m sure has just walked in, or if he’s informing the person on the call.
