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“If I do, what’s in it for me?” I’m standing before him, my dress is soft and flowy, stopping mid-thigh, so if I wanted to dance right now, I could.
Etienne lifts the glass to his lips, sipping the vodka he poured—neat and a double shot—as if it’s water. He doesn’t wince, he merely regards me.
“I’ll do anything you’d like me to do, little wolf,” he grins, his smile lighting up his face, and I remember why I promised myself that I’d try to make him smile like that every day.
“Mm, anything?”
He tips his head to the side, offering me one swift nod, before he gestures at me with his glass. “Within reason, gorgeous.” His expression is neutral, there’s not a hint of amusement in it.
“Okay,” I nod, padding over to the stereo. I turn on the system and scroll through his playlists. Etienne has music of every genre, but it’s the one song I choose that I know will send the message that I’ve been trying to say for the past few weeks, but I’ve been too afraid to utter the words.
It’s been so long since I danced to a pop song. ‘I Can’t Fall in Love Without You’ by Zara Larsson streams through the speakers, and I allow the melody to take over and my feet to move. I feel graceful, like I’m flying. And when I spin in front of Etienne, my focus is on him with every pirouette.
There’s a hunger in his gaze as he watches me. Taking in every part of me, I feel his gaze on me as if he were touching me. My stomach tumbles wildly with every movement, with every grin and wink he offers, and with each lyric, I feel myself admitting more than I want to, but I can’t help it.
I want Etienne, I love him, but I’m too scared of him rejecting me to tell him. Even though I know he won’t, it’s still an innate fear that’s got a hold of me. And I don’t like this feeling of freefalling. I’ve been rejected from both fathers I’ve come to know, and I wonder if Etienne will ever get tired of me. I’ve never felt so unsure before, and it’s jarring.
“Rukaiya,” the deep voice that comes through my worried thoughts is Etienne’s, and when his hand grips my shoulders, preventing me from spinning out, I stop suddenly, and I’m met with those deep, dark eyes that seem to look right into my soul.
“What?”
“Did I lose you there?” He’s worried. His black brows are creased in the middle, and I realize I completely got lost in the fear that’s held me back. I nod. “Why are you so lost inside your head, little wolf?”
His question is a balm to my frayed heart, and I look at him directly, wanting him to guess the crippling anxiety that’s got a hold of me.
“I-I…” Shaking my head, I take a long, deep breath and attempt to focus on my breathing instead of what I want to do. The song changes, and Post Malone’s voice breaks through to me as he sings ‘Saint-Tropez.’
“Listen to me, Rukaiya, you can tell me anything that’s bothering you; I’m not going to leave you. I’m not your parents, I’m not anyone who you’ve had in your life before.”
“You’re just stubborn,” I tell him with a smile, hoping to lighten the mood, but Etienne’s having none of it. I used to do that, avoid serious conversations when I could. Dahlia told me I needed to be honest with him, I owe him that much. “Do you remember when I told you I was afraid of you?”
He nods, but he doesn’t say anything, and I know he’s giving me the lead. He’s waiting for me, and I appreciate it.
“Well, I am. I’m falling, Etienne, I’ve fallen, and I’ve never loved someone before. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced; it’s worse than—”
His mouth crashes down on mine, silencing me and my fears. The softness of his lips, the flavor of vodka on his tongue take over me as he darts inside my mouth. We move together, Etienne picking me up, walking us over to the window, and he pins me against the cool glass.
With threats behind us and with Etienne in front of me, I lose myself in his warmth as he holds me up. My legs wrap around his waist, and the rigidness of his zipper, with the bulge behind it, rubs against me, causing me to whimper with need that burns my blood hot with desire.
“You’re going to make me come in my fucking jeans, little dancer,” he growls against my mouth as he tugs my bottom lip with his teeth, biting down until I’m clawing at his shoulders.
“I like making you lose control,” I tell him earnestly. His gaze is locked on mine, his eyes dancing with a flame of passion, of craving and of hunger that looks like he’s about to devour me right here against the window.
