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I wanted to pound it out of him.
Flashes of hot and sweaty naked bodies writhing together exploded in my mind’s eye. Tattoos and muscles, masculine grunts, and deep gravelly groans. Tongues tangling together, hands and mouths against bare skin.
I ground my teeth again, fighting my body’s reaction to him.
I channelled my anger, my pulse spiking and throbbing in my veins.
He brushed his thumbs over my nipples, and my hips punched forward without any conscious thought on my part. My fucking body was betraying me no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was angry, not turned on.
Tristan ran his hands down my naked chest and around my hips, clutching me tightly. He pulled me harder against him, and I gasped at the perfect way our erections nestled together, our hips trapping them in place.
He growled, “I want you to man up and take what you want.” Dropping his gaze to my lips, he licked his own and ground against me, his fingertips digging into my arse. “Get your shit together, Ry.” He rolled his hips again, slowly thrusting against me, and my eyes fluttered closed. My breath caught, and my cock pulsed.
“Admit to Zali that you want her. Admit it to yourself.”
He leaned forward and ran his nose up my throat, stopping me in my tracks. My body went haywire, every one of my nerve endings on overload. Like I’d been struck by lightning, I was electrified. Every instinct in me screamed at me to do something. Anything. I should shove him away, but I wanted to pull him closer. I wanted to pin him to the desk and rub myself all over him until we were both completely sated. Jesus Christ, if I didn’t back the fuck off right now, I’d come in my pants if he so much as breathed on me again.
Tristan dug his fingers into the meaty part of my hips and held me steady, staring into my eyes as he said, “The ball’s in your court—she wants you, and we want you with her too. You just need to reach for her.”
“No,” I growled, fighting him. This right here was the very reason why I couldn’t give in and reach for Zali.
I tried to pull away, to put some distance between me and his dizzying scent that burrowed inside me and gnawed away at the walls I’d carefully erected. Instinctively, I knew that I could lower them and be safe with him.
But that wasn’t what I was put on earth to do. I was there to support everyone else. I didn’t get the luxury of being anything other than the strongest in the room, the one who was there for everyone.
Dropping that drawbridge and letting him pass through would utterly destroy the man I’d tried to become.
For them.
I’d done everything asked of me. I’d taken every responsibility placed on me seriously. I’d fucked up more than once, but everything I did was to make them proud of me, to show Mum, Uncle Kev, Chris, and Tom that they could rely on me to be a man, to be the man they all needed. To step into Dad’s place just like he should have been here to do.
That was my job, my responsibility.
But I would fail if I gave in.
If I stopped resisting and reached out for what I really wanted, it would be the end of things. They wouldn’t recognize me as the man they’d once been proud of.
It would disappoint them, and I’d never risk that. I’d idolized them as a kid. Now, as an adult, I saw that some of their views were toxic. But I couldn’t shake that need, the desperation, for their approval.
It was better to stay on the path than risk veering off into the unknown and disappoint, and probably lose, the people I had left.
“Don’t be a stubborn arse,” Tristan snapped, fighting back against my feeble attempt to pull away.
He pushed off the desk and stepped forward, shoving me against the wall. He stood in my personal space, his chest pressing against mine with every breath I sucked in. My pulse rocketed through my veins, thrumming in my ears as I clutched his shirt tighter.
Gentling his voice, he added, “You love her, I know you do.”
“And what, I get her and all of you too?” I sneered, my defences on high alert. I couldn’t want them, and because of that, I didn’t want to be anywhere near them. If I let them get too close, temptation would overwhelm me.
I’d cave.
I’d want things I shouldn’t.
I’d be weak for them.
They were dangerous, and I needed to be strong.
I couldn’t let it happen. There couldn’t be anything between Zali and me because of them. Because of me.
