AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I did. In collaboration with an artist friend of mine. There’s another name you should recognize on here. Look closer, James.”
I inspect it for less than two seconds before it hits me like a freight train. I can’t hold the tears back the same way I’m holding my breath. On the barrel of the rifle there’s a name. ‘Lt. Col. Jeremy Archer’.
Rose looks at me, expectant, but I don’t know what to say. My simple words are lost in the enormity of this gesture of hers. It hurts, but for the first time ever, it’s not a pain that burns. It’s a pain that fills me with pride. It fills me with... Love.
I’m fueled by something out of this world as I walk to her in long, hurried strides. I take her face in my hands and kiss her. There’s passion in our kiss, but this time it’s different. There’s understanding, a deep connection, and something unspoken.
I’ve never kissed anyone like this before. I let my soul consume hers as I pour everything I have into her lips, even my tears invade our mouths. I stop fighting to contain it. It’s wrong under the eyes of the world, but it’s the only thing that’s ever felt right for me. She is right for me.
I’m not ready to say it. I’m scared that if I do, she’ll take it and run away with it. Leave me bleeding out here in the middle of the snow.
I pull back, still holding her face in my hands, and lean my forehead on hers.
“Thank you.” I say just above a whisper. I can’t get myself to say what I really want to, but I can show her.
I tug on her hand and pull her all the way to the car. I can’t wait until we get home. I don’t want to. I push her into the back seat of our parents’ SUV, step in behind her, and take her into my arms again.
“James...” It’s a plea. A question. A song of fire under the winter snow.
I kiss her again, the same passion and emotion I had charged it with before. Unrestrained, unspoken feelings.
“I want you, Rose,” I pant into her mouth. It’s ambiguous enough not to splay my heart into vulnerability. I tug on the buttons of her jeans, but Rose does the rest. She pulls them down, taking just one leg out, while I undo my pants and pull my cock out.
She’s straddling me before I know it, slowly sinking onto me. Her eyes never leave mine as she takes me into the place where I belong.
The silence around us is thick with meaning, with emotions my heart feels but my mouth can’t voice.
I can’t put her on the spot like that.
I hold her down on me and hug her still. She wraps her arms around me and laces her fingers in my hair, as I bury my nose in the crook of her neck. I breathe her in, she’s more than oxygen, she’s life.
She smells divine. Roses and heaven. Snow and peace.
“It was the first time I saw it.” I am not sure I meant to say it out loud, but I want Rose to know. “It was the first time I ever saw snow. They knocked at our door and gave mom a damn folded flag. That's what we got as consolation. That’s why I hate it.”
“Oh, James!” She pulls my head from her neck and kisses me again. It’s not hungry or lustful, even though I’m buried inside her. It’s more. It’s what I had promised seven years ago I wouldn’t let myself feel again, only ten times stronger.
Rose starts to slowly move. Small circles. Little thrusts. But her eyes never leave mine.
“This is wrong, Rose.” It’s not what I want to say, but I know she needs a way out, I’m pulling her down with me and I can’t allow that to happen.
“It’s not. It’s perfect.” She’s looking straight at me, and I feel truly seen for the first time in my life. “It’s the rightest thing I’ve ever done. Don’t shut me out again, Archer.”
Perfect. She’s right. This is as close to perfection as I have ever gotten. We have conjured up magic, we are the only two people in the city. Snow is my ally now, allowing me to keep Rose all to myself, helping me shield her. It coats the windows, providing us with shelter and cover.
This is the least naked we’ve been all weekend, we are wearing coats, scarfs, boots, yet we are completely bare to each other. “I won’t Rose. I couldn’t if I wanted to. You know my truth now. You are my truth now.” The pleasure we are both experiencing is coming from somewhere deeper. We are being quiet, it’s a steady, intimate, cathartic ascent.
We are making love for the second time. I know exactly what to call it now. It’s all about the journey, our journey together, the destination is far from my mind again. Our bodies seem to be in communion with our souls when we reach our peak together. Soul-fucking-baring. I will never be the same again.
“James,” Rose utters before collapsing into my body.
“My Rosy girl.”
A deep happiness fills my chest, bringing along an unwanted friend. Why can’t I shake off the sense of dread it brings with it? It feels like goodbye. Fuck.
No. It can’t be.
I never intended to hurt her, and I definitely didn’t expect to fall and break either.
