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“It’s okay,” I murmur, straightening and forcing a smile. “All good. Just a lot of memories here.” I clear my throat. “Two months is a long time to be away from Boise, huh?”
His smile is knowing. “Is that your way of asking how my wife feels about it?”
I laugh, glad the conversation is veering in a new direction. “Yes.”
“She wasn’t thrilled at first,” he admits, “but then I had the brilliant idea of bringing them with me. Mom and Dad have the space and are on board. A summer back in Sun River, away from the city, hanging with the grandparents…” He winks. “Macy and I might even get a few weekends to ourselves.”
“That’s amazing, Billy.”
He nods, gaze lifting over my head. “Looks like bossman is wrapping up his phone call.” He stands, tucking his clipboard under his arm. “I’ll see you tonight at my parents’ house, right? Macy and the kids are driving up this afternoon.”
Heaviness descends on my shoulders, blanketing my body. My happiness—and distraction—of the last few hours can’t withstand the sudden emotional weight, vanishing instantly. The ache of loss and survivor’s guilt spreads through me.
I tilt my lips in imitation of a smile. “Of course.”
Billy’s expression softens. “Great. I’ll see you then.”
He jogs down the steps and hops in his truck. I watch him drive away.
Lucas’s footsteps draw nearer. He’s still on the phone, voice pitched low. When I muster the courage to look at him, he lifts a finger with a slight smile. I nod, grateful for the reprieve, and listen to his footsteps fade as he veers around the side of the Lodge. Closing my eyes, I breathe carefully through my nose and out of my mouth until the heaviness lifts a bit, until the urge to cry recedes.
Lucas’s voice floats to my ears.
“…come see her if you want to, Michelle. I’m not going to stop you… Not sure what we can do, honestly… Yes, I took her last week, but she wouldn’t get out of the car.” There’s a long pause, then a heavy sigh. “I know, I’m scared, too. She has a doctor’s appointment on Thursday. Bloodwork, the full nine yards. Maybe she’ll listen to someone with a medical degree… Yeah, I agree.” His voice moves closer. “I have to go. Okay. Love you, too.”
When I hear his footsteps on the stairs, I open my eyes. My heart is pounding, thoughts of Memorial Day suddenly wispy and indistinct in light of what I just overheard.
I want to say something but have no idea what. Everyone knows Mrs. Adler has a drinking problem, but for the first time, it hits me what that means for Lucas and Michelle. They might lose both parents to alcoholism.
Lucas settles beside me on the stairs, a solid two feet between us. Even with the distance, his nearness sends an electric current over my skin. I can barely look at him. My quick glances only overwhelm me more—his T-shirt shows too much tan, muscled skin. Combined with the tendrils of grief still swimming in me, I feel nauseated.
“So, what do you think of the plans?” His voice is subdued.
I shove my emotions into a mental box and lock it, a well-oiled process I mastered when Damien was a toddler. When he was too young to understand why Mommy was crying.
“Everything is amazing,” I say, my voice steady. “I can’t wait for construction to start.”
“Good. Any input?”
“One thing. I think we should have a garden for growing food.”
His eyebrows lift. “Camps only last a week.”
“Sure, the campers won’t eat the food they grow, and not every camp will plant. But I think the planting itself—and tending to the garden in general—could be a great activity.”
“I agree.”
Startled, I blurt, “Really?”
Lucas chuckles. “Of course.” He stands. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
He takes off down a path toward the lake. Off-kilter, I follow, catching up at the first bend. The path is overgrown, bushes encroaching and weeds pushing through old, bleached mulch. Animals have scattered most of the rocks that once formed neat borders.
“Watch your head.” Lucas holds a low branch back, releasing it after I pass him. “That will need to come off. Ever used a saw, Peapod?”
There’s a grin in his voice and a familiar glimmer in his eye. I think of the phone call with his sister, the heaviness of it, and decide that if banter with me makes him feel better, I’m on board.
“Only in my dreams when I saw off your head.”
