AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Celeste Miller, you ridiculous, maddening woman,” he grinds out. “Look at me.”
Drawing on inner strength I didn’t know I possessed, I meet his burning gaze. We’re too close, but I don’t know how to step away. Don’t know if I even want to.
Lucas’s gaze drops to my lips, then snaps back to my eyes. “If I thought for one second you’d give me another night, I’d fall to my knees right now and beg. You were my first crush.” He swallows. “My favorite fantasy. And believe me when I say no woman has ever compared to you, either real or in my imagination. You’ll always be the most beautiful, sexy woman on this planet to me.”
The words unravel me. End me.
Because he means them.
“Then why?” I cry, wrenching backward and almost tripping over a tree root. “Why did you kiss me that night at the lake, then snub me the next day? You fucking broke my heart!”
His teeth clench. “I know.”
The old hurt roars through me. As fast as I moved away, I launch forward, shoving him with all my strength. He barely moves, which only makes me madder.
“Tell me why, you asshole!”
Something snaps in him. He grips my shoulders, anguish and anger blazing in his eyes.
“He told me he was in love with you,” he growls.
I gape. “What?”
“Jeremy. After I came back from the lake that night. He said he loved you. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t deserve that kiss. But Jeremy? He did. He deserved you.”
My mind melts. Turns to dust. “That doesn’t make any sense. You two, what, played fucking Rock Paper Scissors for me?”
“No,” he snaps. “I never told him I kissed you. He gave me this whole speech and asked me to stand aside. So I did what I thought was right—for both of you. And it was, wasn’t it? You and I both know that if he hadn’t fucking died, you’d still be happy together. I did it so you could be happy!”
I’m shocked. Horrified. Beyond hurt. My heart bleeds its pain into my chest and arms, all of me throbbing.
Lucas’s hands fall away, robbing me of an anchor I desperately need. Unmoored, I sway, then prop myself up with a palm against a tree. My fingernails dig into the pitted wood.
Rough bark.
Cold toes.
Itch on my back.
Lungs fill. Deflate.
Still here.
Alive.
Without even trying, I revert to the survival mode that got me through the first months after Jeremy’s death, when I existed in suspension between the endless void of grief and the painful markers of life.
“Celeste,” Lucas whispers, my name a broken sound.
I feel blank. Colorless inside and out as I look at him, at the pleading in his eyes.
“I’m going home.” My voice is flat. A smooth, endless lake of darkness. “I’ll be doing interviews all week and will email you my final thoughts and decisions by Sunday. I’ll be back here next Monday and we’ll reconvene then.”
He heaves in a deep breath. “You’re not quitting.”
I don’t meet his gaze. “Of course not. Like you said, we’re adults. I hope the intervention is successful and that your mom gets the help she needs.” I force the next words, which feel like broken glass in my raw throat. “And for what it’s worth, I agree—you did do the right thing. Jeremy was the love of my life.”
I ignore the flash of devastation on his face as I walk past him.
