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I bring my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly.
“YOU THINK THAT’S GOING TO PROTECT YOU?! YOU CAN’T GET AWAY FROM ME, GIRL.”
“Solnishko, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. You have my heart. You will always have my heart. You’re the only woman who knows my name.”
Suddenly, I’m in a bathroom, listening to women talk. One of them says, “You know he never even told her his real name? No one knows his real name. It’s like he doesn’t exist.”
“LISTEN TO HER. HE DOESN’T EXIST.”
“Sephie, you know my name. I love hearing my name on your tongue. I can’t get enough of you saying my name. I never hesitated to tell you my name that night in the parking lot. You’re the only woman that knows my name.”
Adrik. Adrik is calling me! I have to go to him. Wherever he is, that’s where I need to be.
“YOU CAN’T GET AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, STUPID GIRL.”
SHUT UP! You’re not real!
“OH, I’M VERY REAL. I’M NEVER GOING AWAY AGAIN NOW THAT I’M OUT.”
Stop it! You’re not real. I got away from you. You can’t hurt me anymore.
“Sephie, I love you.”
I have to go to him. I need him. I love him.
“YOU AIN’T GOING ANYWHERE.”
I’d had enough. Enough of the doubt, enough of his abuse, enough of carrying him around with me for years, enough of his voice in the back of my head anytime I was unsure of myself. Enough!
“YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ME”
I’m not the same Sephie you knew. This Sephie fights back. This is the Sephie that would drive that knife through your heart instead of slicing your Achilles tendon and not shed a tear over it.
I’m suddenly back in the basement. My back is on fire, there’s blood everywhere. My blood. Grant is a few steps away from me, catching his breath. This is my chance to get away from him. I try to get up, feeling the familiar object in my pocket. I discreetly pull it out of my pocket, clicking it open as quietly as possible. He must’ve heard the click because now he’s walked toward me. I grip the handle tightly, waiting for my chance.
He stops beside me, swinging his leg back like he’s going to kick me. I grab his foot as he’s about to kick me and slice as hard as I can across the back of his ankle. He crashes to the floor, screaming in pain. The knife is still in my hand. I stand up as quickly as I can, looking at him writhing on the floor in pain. He rolls onto his back and all I see is red. Without even thinking, I jumped on him, plunging the knife as deeply into his chest as I can get it to go. He sputters, coughing up blood. I stand up once again, watching him struggle to hold onto life. He reaches for me, trying to grab my leg. I raise my leg out of his grasp, letting my heel land with as much force as I can muster on the knife sticking out of his chest, driving it farther into his chest. I hear him take his last breath as I’m running up the stairs.
I run to my room, grabbing my stuff. I glanced at myself in the mirror, realizing that I’m covered in blood. I look for something to cover my back.
“Sephie, I love you. Please come back to me.”
I’m coming. I have to get away. Please wait for me.
I find a jacket and throw it on. When the fabric hits my back, I scream.
I’m no longer in my bedroom. Everything is so bright. I feel arms around me and I flinch, trying to get away.
“Sephie, it’s me. You’re safe.”
I blink, trying to get my eyes to focus. Everything is still so bright that I can’t see anything. I hear him say something in Russian and hear movement around me. Sliding. Suddenly it’s darker. I open my eyes slowly. They’re able to adjust better in lower light. I see a face in front of me and hear that voice. The voice that pulled me out of my nightmare.
“Sephie, it’s me. It’s Adrik. You’re safe now. Look at me.”
I blink again, this time able to see his eyes. Those blue eyes that I love. I search them, trying to figure out if it’s really him. He looks at me with nothing but concern at first, but when he sees me searching his eyes, he looks at me with nothing but love and adoration. He smiles faintly, “It’s me, Sephie. Pinky swear.”
I climb into his lap, holding on to him like he’s the only anchor in the middle of a hurricane. Tears fall uncontrollably. He wraps his arms around me, running his hands over my back, trying to calm me down. “Shh…you’re okay now. You’re safe now. No one will ever hurt you again. Especially not Grant.”
I sobbed harder, clinging to him. “I think I killed him,” I said, mumbling in between breaths. “I think I stabbed him in the heart, I think I killed him.”
