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The warmth was back with his voice. I could feel it envelope me. I looked down at my arms and legs. They were brighter. I could see them more clearly. I could see just barely in front of me.
“I’ve loved you since the first night I saw you, when you were standing at the bar. Your eyes were so wide when you saw Viktor and Andrei walk in. It was adorable. But then you locked eyes with me and I saw the look in your eye immediately change, giving me that spark that only I can see. Your friend Max had to push you to come show us to the meeting room. You almost tripped on your way to us. I was trying desperately to control myself as you walked closer. You were so different from any woman I’d ever seen. When you asked what you could get us to drink and Viktor told you waters for all of us, you cocked your head to the side and said, ‘Different.’ Then you immediately got worried you had offended me. It was all I could do not to kiss you right then. I stepped close to you, able to smell the floral scent of your shampoo. It drove me crazy. I sat down at the table and all I could think about was running my hands through your hair and what it would look like not in a braid.”
The void no longer felt cold at all. I could see in front of me. I could see where I was going. I could get out of here.
There was a path that I followed to a vaguely familiar house. As I got closer to the house, I could hear music coming from inside. Something felt right about this. Like I knew this house, even though I didn’t recognize it. I walked the path to the front door. I pushed on it, opening it slowly. The music was louder now. I knew the song. It was my mother’s favorite song. Who would be playing that song?
I walked inside, trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t disturb the person playing. I couldn’t see them yet, but the music was getting louder with each step I took inside the house. I could almost feel my fingers wanting to play the next note before I heard it.
I peeked into the first room I came to, revealing a grand piano. A man was sitting at the piano, absorbed by the music. He hadn’t heard me come inside the house, he just continued to play my mom’s favorite song. I stood, motionless, watching him. Who was he? Why didn’t I feel scared of him? How does he know that song?
When the song ended, he sat for a moment and stared at the keys. He sighed. Without turning to look at me, he said “Hello, Sephie baby. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen me.”
I looked at his back, confused. Just as I was about to speak, he turned around to face me. His face. It looked so familiar, yet not, at the same time. Like I’d looked at his picture for years and now that I was seeing him in person, it wasn’t the same.
I gasped. “D-Dad…?”
He smiled, his eyes squinting like mine did when I smiled. He stood up and walked toward me, his arms wide. “Hey, peanut.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve missed being able to hold you, little one. That’s the one thing I miss the most. But I’m so proud of you. I’ve watched you grow up. I’ve been there the whole time and Sephie, I’m so proud of you.” He hugged me tight.
“How? How are you here?”
“Eh, the logistics are a bit complicated. You can say I’m a bit of a guardian angel, if that’s easier for you to understand.”
I stepped back to look at him, my eyes wide. “You saw…everything?”
He chuckled. “Well, not everything everything. I know when to give you privacy. But every tough situation you’ve been in, I was there in case you needed me.” He looked at me thoughtfully, brushing a curl from my face. “You know, you’ve never once needed me, Sephie.”
“No, that’s not true. In the…basement?” my voice cracked as I thought about that horrible night.
He closed his eyes, sighing. “That was the first time I thought you might need me. I was just about to step in when you saved yourself.” He put his hands on both of my shoulders. “Sephie, look at me. What you did that night, it was meant to happen. Sometimes karma uses you to deliver justice, if you will. You were simply the one that delivered his sentence.”
I sucked in a breath. “So, I did. I did kill him that night?”
He nodded. “Nobody found him for months. The knife was mysteriously gone.” He looked at me, raising one eyebrow.
“You?”
“Okay, maybe I helped just once. But I mean, seriously. Do you know how boring it is being the guardian of such a…capable child? You gotta throw me a bone once in a while, peanut.”
I smiled at him. Clearly, he was where I got my sense of humor from.
“There’s my beautiful girl. You know you can light the way for ships into harbor with your smile? You almost give Adrik a heart attack every time you smile at him. I’m not even joking about that one. We’ve had extra angels on standby because it got close a few times.”
My smile faded, thinking about Adrik.
“You’re still mad at him. You have every right to be mad at him, peanut. He should’ve told you the plan, but I know he will never, ever underestimate your strength again as long as he lives. Do you know he hasn’t moved from underneath you for twelve hours now? He got up once to pee and you got sucked back into your nightmare. He hasn’t had anything to eat or drink since then and he won’t move so you can sleep in peace and your body can heal.”
“No, it hasn’t been that long. It’s only been a few hours.”
“Peanut, time is different here. He’ll lay there as long as it takes. I’ve never seen him so determined. And he’s got a bloodlust that is, well, impressive.”
I just looked at him, dumbfounded.
He smiled down at me. “You can remember being in the nothing, the darkness, before you found your way here?” I nodded my head. “Do you remember how every time you heard his voice, when he would tell you he loved you, how you got a little brighter and could see further into the darkness?” Again, I nodded. “It’s because he can’t exist without you and you can’t exist without him. You’re light, he’s dark. One cannot exist without the other. His darkness allows your light to shine. The brighter your light, the darker your shadows. You figured that part out on your own.” He made a fist and pressed it to my chin. “Seriously, chip off the ol’ block, you are.” He looked at me, a look of pride on his face. He cleared his throat and continued. “But Adrik hasn’t figured that out yet. Guys are sometimes slower on the uptake. You’re helping to show him that even though he has very dark shadows, he also has a very bright light. And right now, he’s the spark you needed to remember that your light is always within you. You’re the only one that can ever turn it off. You just momentarily forgot that part. Which is understandable. You’ve had a hectic few weeks. Years,” he added, clearing his throat again. “But what happened needed to happen. Not just for you, but for all of them. Each of them has something special to offer the world, but it never would’ve happened without the events at the ball. Misha, for example, has a gift that warns him when something isn’t right. He started to believe it more after the attack on you two, but the others didn’t. Now they do. That never would’ve happened otherwise. There’s always a reason, peanut. It’s your job to figure it out.”
I stared at him, trying to understand everything he just told me.
“You already know everything I’m telling you right now, peanut. You just have to let go of the fear. Sure, he fucked up. They all did. Big time. You got hurt in the process, but you have yet to quit in situations much worse than this one. Don’t start now. You’ve got a 100 percent survival rate, remember that. And know that I’ll be there, ready to swoop in when needed. You should see my swoop. I practice a lot because you know you never need me. Whatever. It’s magnificent.”
