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I remember the way he smelled as I pressed my head to the curve of his neck, and the way he always touched me, and marked me, as if he needed to let everyone know I belonged to him. I did belong to him, even if I was going to be married to someone else.I brought my hand down to my entrance and slipped two fingers in. I flinched at how sore I was, but ignored the pain. The pleasure was distracting enough as I brought myself to climax.I stood in the shower a little longer, letting myself come down from the high of imaginary Fin before turning the water off and stepping out.
I got dressed and tied my hair into a ponytail before heading to the kitchen. As I approached the marble island, I noticed a note waiting for me in the center. My intuition told me what it would say before I even picked it up.
My chores for the day.
As soon as I moved into Grant’s place, he made it clear that he expected me to be a dutiful wife, and assigned me daily chores. If I failed to complete them, let’s just say he wasn’t pleased.Wednesday. It’s Wednesday.I told myself, relaxing at the fact that on Wednesdays, Grant came home late. He was an assistant pastor, working in the church that we attended every Sunday.
When I was younger, before I knew about the world and the difference between good and evil, I loved going to church. I loved the songs and the people who took the time to come together and sing.
But there was a wrongness about the church Grant worked at. What the church didn’t know was that Grant was stealing the money the people gave as thanks. I found out one night when I overheard him take a call. He worked behind the scenes, helping criminals get their shipments without interference from the police. He never found out that I heard him and I never gave him a reason to suspect me, but when I attended church on Sundays, my heart felt heavy from the thought of deceiving all those people.
I placed the note back on the table and decided that I would spend the day doing what I loved. I didn’t have enough money to do everything I wanted, considering my adoptive parents only gave me enough to pay my tuition, and they made the check out in Grant’s name. He gave me a small weekly allowance, just enough to buy myself small things, but not enough to save and run away with. He always ordered groceries online and had them delivered. He refused to let me behind the wheel of any car. It was a somber feeling, being confined while the freedom of the outside world was just out of reach. I hated how much I relied on Grant. I hated I didn’t have access to my own funds. I breathed out, then snatched a banana from the basket before grabbing my purse and heading out the door.
Rainbow Cafe was only a twenty-minute walk from Grant’s house. I sat outside, soaking up the sun on my skin, and eating in silence as I watched people pass me. It always made me wonder how people can just go about their lives.
Were they all happy? Will I ever be happy?
A shadow passed in the corner of my eye and I twisted my head in its direction, but it was just the crowd of people going about their day. My heart hammered in my chest at the thought of what I saw there. For a moment, a figure looked like Fin. But that wasn’t possible. He was still at Murdoch Home. My throat closed, and I had to force my orange juice down. I was seeing things because I missed him.
“Would you like anything else?” the waiter asked, appearing beside me.
I shook my head and asked for the check. Swallowing the last drop of juice, I left a few dollars for a tip and stood from the table. As the warm air blew past me, I decided I wasn’t ready to head back home, and my feet lead me to the library. Once I left Murdoch Home, I picked up reading to pass the time outside of drawing. I found that getting lost in the pages made my reality a little more bearable. I scanned the shelves, dragging my fingers along the spines until I found a paranormal romance book I thought looked interesting. I walked over to one of the wooden tables and opened the book.
Already, I found myself getting lost in the world. I sat like that for what felt like hours before a coldness snapped my spine in place.What was going on? Was I losing my mind?
I was only one hundred pages in, but I didn’t feel like reading anymore. I walked back over to the shelf and placed the book back where it belonged.My mind told me it was time to get out of there, but there was a small part that told me to wait. I couldn’t explain it. It felt as though my body knew I wasn’t in danger. But I ignored my heart and left.
I headed to a park and was hit with a wave of nostalgia. I sat on a bench and watched the stone unicorn glisten in the sunlight. All the parks in the small town of Sugarplum Falls had unicorn statues.
Without meaning to, my mind traveled back to Fin, and I remembered the drawing I gave him the first time I visited him in solitary.
Did he still have that drawing now? Was he looking at that drawing still?
My vision blurred and I blinked a few times to clear it.A gust of wind blew past and shook my ponytail around for a few seconds before it flew over my shoulder. I brushed my hair back and reached into my purse to pull out my notebook. Since moving into Grant’s place, I didn’t have the chance to draw much anymore. If I wasn’t doing chores, I was servicing him in the bedroom. I pulled out my pencil, ripped a page out of my notebook and drew. The motion felt so good, like coming home after a long day. The tightness grew in my right hand and I had to stretch it out a few times to relieve the pressure, but it felt amazing.
I imagined the way Fin would be so happy to see it when I was done with it. His face would light up and I would see how proud he was of me for making something so beautiful.A tear fell onto the paper but I ignored it and continued drawing. I chose this life because I had to. I decided to marry Grant because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.
A powerful gust of wind ripped the paper out of my grasp and sent it tumbling towards the ground. I stood and hurried over to pick it up, but I regretted it immediately when a firm hand covered my mouth.
And suddenly everything disappeared.
Chapter11
Fin
I’ve watched her sleep for the past three hours. The rise and fall of her chest made my gut tighten, and I wondered how much longer she was going to lie there.Sitting here made me realize this was the longest I have been in my apartment, and it took me until now to notice how clean it was. Most likely because of one of the others guys’ handiwork. Everything was too organized, too neat. It made my skin crawl. This place hadn’t felt like my home since I left, and it still didn’t; but it was tolerable now that Barbie was in it.
Finally, she stirred, making her the only thing in the room I saw. She slowly sat up, her hand coming to her head, which I was sure felt like death. She would probably be a little dizzy for a minute.
She groaned softly before she finally opened her eyes. Slowly, her gaze adjusted to the blinding light coming through the windows. I saw the panic in her features, the way her eyes widened and glanced around the room. It took her a minute to notice me, but when she did, everything slowed.
“Are you finally up, princess?” I teased.
She didn’t react or say anything. She just sat there and stared at my face as if I were a ghost.Tears fell down her cheeks so fucking beautifully before she cut the distance between us and flung her arms around my neck. She fit so goddamn perfectly in my arms, like she was made specifically for me.
“Barbie,” I whispered in her hair, “did you miss me?”
“Is this real?” she asked. “Are you really here?”
