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In the mirror, I stare at my reflection, gripping the sink. Cameron asks such substantial things of me, as if I could deliver them with a snap of my fingers. But he is used to that. Obedience, control, and submission. Well, it’s time I show him I am not one of those women.
When he leaves, I go downstairs, eat a sandwich, and tell Marie I won’t be home tonight.
I walk to Alessandra’s house.
“He’s making me crazy with his overbearing attitude. Could you tell me how to get to the bunker?” I say as soon as I enter the front door.
“Of course, but are you going to tell me why?”
“Cameron is so demanding. With him, it’s all about making deals. He is always looking for the easiest way out. I am opening up and he wants even more.”
She looks at me with sympathy. “Maybe it’s not about making you open up but forcing him to do the same?”
I haven’t thought about that. Still.
“How is tonight any different?” she asks.
I feel the blush creeping across my skin.
“Oh. Cam would never force you,” she says with certainty. I nod because I know that, but he also has his ways and I need a night to myself. I could go to my parents, but he’d just come and get me.
Taking the path through the forest, I text the girls in the group chat. They assure me they will keep my secret. Thank God for friends like them.
After a quick retina scan, the earth splits open to reveal the elevator platform. Every step I take echoes through the tunnel. With the dim lights on the gray ceiling, I keep going. It’s peaceful and silent.
I put my backpack on the table in the open space room and connect to the TV screens with my laptop.
This is a way better gaming environment—I could make this place mine whenever I need me time. Trying to forget this need for him, I log in to the game.
“Good game. We’re going to win this championship. You’re still coming, right?” Noah asks.
“Yes.”
The rational side in me thinks Cameron has a valid point. If I show my actual face in public, I could remain incognito by going disguised as my alter ego. But that side of me is still a small girl, afraid of life. I hide my hair, mostly because I don’t want to get used to seeing it, and then face the disappointment of needing to cut it off again someday.
I step inside Cameron’s room in the bunker. Standing in front of the mirror, I pull the wig off. My strawberry blond hair spills over my shoulders, grazing my breasts. I comb my hand through it, tears gathering in my pale green eyes. I fall to my knees. My tears are coming out. I don’t know this woman in the mirror, and I feel the loss like it’s a living thing. I wipe the tears away and rock myself, still staring in the mirror.
“You deserve to grow. I’ll do my best,” I promise myself.
After my emotional breakdown, I feel lighter. Cameron can’t see me unless I find myself first. That’s something no deal is worth. Maybe it will take a day. Maybe it will take a lifetime. But I will show my true self when I am ready.
I put the wig back on and pick up my phone. Cameron should be home soon and he’ll know I’m gone. Did I run away from him so he could chase after me? I can’t ignore the answer any longer.
If he comes, he comes. I know how the night will end. If he doesn’t come, I pretend that I don’t crave him with everything in me. That his presence and touch are so potent I forget everything else but the sensations he brings in me.
The more I think about it, the clearer it gets.
Cameron wants this. He wants me to give in and not pound at his walls while he rattles at mine. I’m willing to bet this night will end like all the others. We’ll stay away from each other for a while, only to come crashing back to each other.
It’s the distance that bothers me.
Wait, did he just manipulate me?
Anger simmers low in my belly. I’m packing my things, shoving them in my backpack when the air turns heavy around me.
“In a hurry, darling?”
I turn so fast that my head spins. Cameron smirks, but still, there is something dark in his eyes. Dressed in black slacks and a black turtleneck, he looks so dangerously sexy.
