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“So, this is what? Do you want me to see another doctor?”
“That didn’t help, did it?”
I shake my head, remembering what the therapists said sounded logical. Our fears can take hold of us, but we can overcome them by acknowledging they are not real and choosing to be in control. How often did I wonder how it would be to do that? My life is a string of fears and phobias.
“We’re going to have a small gathering on Friday evening. I want you to be present.”
Strangers. Germs. What if someone wants to touch me to greet me? What if they realize I am not normal? So many what-ifs. My heart pounds, hammering at the walls of my chest and climbing up my throat. My hands shake, and he adds, “You will be there. You’ll meet your future husband. End of discussion.”
His words hit me like a train speeding toward the impending wreckage. My mouth dries. I open and close my lips a few times before my throat can form words. One barely audible word escapes.
“What?”
I look at my mother. She approaches me, offering me strength without touching me. I snap my head back to my father as he reaches me, my entire body shaking. He gulps and presents his open palms to calm me, to make me see he’s no danger, but it doesn’t help.
“You’ll marry. I need his help and maybe it will do you good.”
What person in their right mind would accept a marriage with me? A lunatic.
“I . . .”
“Daughter, we’ve been lenient, but I intend to leave a legacy behind, and this marriage assures that. Plus, he knows about your... situation.” Should that ease my mind? “Have you heard of Cameron McNamara?”
I blink at my father, not understanding where he is going with this information. Cameron is a rising politician, the city’s mayor. From what I’ve gathered, he is running for senator. He’s old-money rich from a political family. Occasionally, news of his shady dealings appears and disappears just as quickly.
For being so young, Cameron has amassed so much power that it makes me wonder if there isn’t more to his public persona. Of course I know he is one of the most sought-after bachelors, but I am not interested.
In vain, I attempt to gasp for air. I have never seen my father this resolute.
I could leave. I have the money, but where would I go? How could I survive in a world filled with things that could kill me? My mother sniffles quietly.
“Father, please.” Doesn’t he understand I am beyond repair and this Cameron is an unknown factor, opening up an entire world of things I can’t deal with?
“You will meet him on Friday. You will marry him.”
“I can’t.”
My shoulders drop.
“Honestly, my dear, I just don’t care anymore. You will do it.”
“You can’t make me!” My voice rises to an almost shrill pitch.
“Don’t push me, Violet. I can only hope that one day, when you have children of your own, you won’t have to endure what we’ve been through with you.”
Hurt strangles my heart. It wasn’t my fault.
“Mom?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m with your father on this.”
With shaky legs, I leave his office and trudge up the curved staircase. I stop in front of my sister’s room and watch her play tea with her dolls while she talks as if I was there. The guilt eats at me. Serena will hate me even if I tell her none of what happened was my choice.
As I head toward my room, thoughts inundate my mind. Maybe I owe my parents my acceptance after they saved my life. If I could put myself in their place, what would I feel? Disappointment.
Would they still have made the same decision if they knew what I would become? I think they would. My sister is the best thing that could have happened to them.
For the first time, I bypass my usual routine of powering up my computer. I can’t function outside these walls. But if this is my sacrifice, so be it.
