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“Never heard that before.”
The innuendo is not lost on me. Whatever. He can do and be with whomever he wants because I know that won’t ever be me.
She rolls her eyes at him and drags him away from me and now my body has decided it can go on with its biological function.
“See you around, little freak.”
She gasps, and this time, she pushes him into the house.
“Are you okay?” she asks while I stare at him as he withdraws without turning back.
“Cam’s not usually a prick. Although, if I think about it...” She smiles at me. “I’m Alessandra.”
“Violet.”
She comes closer. I freeze.
“I’m a doctor. That may mean nothing to you, but I would never want to make you uncomfortable.”
“What kind of doctor?”
Don’t be a shrink. And please don’t come closer. She practically admitted she’s a walking germ factory.
“Trauma surgeon.”
My breathing hitches.
“Germs, touch...,” she says clinically, assessing me. I want to make it easy for her; perhaps she will leave afterward. I can’t do this for a second more.
“We undergo testing constantly, and hygiene for doctors is what the Bible is for Christians. It’s the guiding purpose of our lives.”
I know she’s trying to ease my nerves, but I’m knocking on hyperventilation’s door with bleeding knuckles.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“No reason to be. I’ll just go. It was nice to meet you.”
She leaves me alone, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Please, can tonight end soon?
My father’s intent look pins me through the terrace window with a clear message. I can’t hide out here any longer—it’s time to face the show. A staff member announces dinner. It’s a blur of commotion when everyone enters the dining room.
I can’t believe they seated Cameron right next to me, but I will manage. I can do it. I have to.
Taking my seat, I lost count of how many pep talks I needed in the last ten minutes. As if Cameron knows I am on the verge of a meltdown, he grins at me. I glare back at him.
How can a person be beautiful and cruel at the same time? These are the actual monsters, luring you in and devouring you from the inside out. Simply because they can. Simply because you were a fool to go against your instincts of self-preservation. Not all monsters are ugly on the outside.
My knuckles whiten with my grip on the fork. He bursts into my personal space with his heady smell, leaning inch after agonizing inch toward me. Surely, no one sits this closely. I look around to see if I’m right, but everyone seems to glance at us in more or less subtle ways, making me even more uncomfortable. I know I haven’t made life easy for my parents, but this is too much. Everything in me shouts to run. I shift in my seat.
“If you stand up, I will drag you down.” His voice is so low and deep, threaded with something sinful, causing goose bumps to erupt on my skin.
I whip my face to him. He looks perfectly composed, and that’s unfair—fury, an emotion I haven’t felt in years, bubbles up in my stomach. How dare he? My palms itch, and everything in me aches to shove him, but that would mean he gets a reaction. I inhale and exhale in a calming rhythm. I hold my breath for four seconds, then I exhale for four seconds, imagining a square and following it.
Inhale.
Exhale. The exercise calms me, and I remain seated.
I peer at Cameron again and he’s smirking. “Smart girl.”
