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“Have you ever had a vaginal orgasm?” he asks, and I grimace as I knew this was coming.
“No.”
“Just when you do it to yourself, or with others, too?” he asks. Now, instead of sounding turned on, there’s an edge to his voice.
“What do you mean?” I question, hoping I can somehow change where I know this is going.
“Have you ever come with your fingers deep in your pussy, Mac?”
I shake my head, though he still can’t see me. “No.”
“Believe me, this is the last thing I want to ask when I’m picturing myself with you, but I have to know… Has anyone elseever given you an orgasm through penetration, either with their fingers or cock?”
I grit my teeth and grimace as I try to work out how to answer this without making it into a big deal. “No.”
A loud growl erupts down the phone, and I’m not sure what to make of it. “I don’t know whether to be pissed off at the men who had you before, or to be grateful that I get to be your first in some way.”
Oh, shit…he thinks… Now I really do have to be honest, even if it ruins the mood.
“Finn, nobody has ever given me an orgasm because I’ve never been with anyone else. I’ve been on some dates and done a little fooling around, but that’s all.”
Silence fills the room. The only noise I can hear is his heavy breathing, that seems to match my own. My fingers that are still pressed against my heated bundle of nerves freeze, and I wonder if I’ve just ruined this for good.
“Are you saying you’re a virgin, Mac?”
“Yes… Is that bad?” I can’t help the tremble in my voice as I let my insecurities run free.
I never planned on being a virgin at twenty-six years old. So many times in the past I thought about losing it. I had more than enough opportunities, but every time I came close, all I could think about was Finn.
When I was a teenager, every dream I ever had involved me losing my virginity to Finn, and the longer that went on, the more I couldn’t get it out of my head.
After we fell out, and I didn’t see him for years, that would’ve been the logical time to move on…but I couldn’t. It’s like a part of me knew I belonged to him, and no matter how much I tried to push through it, nobody else could compete.
It’s part of the reason I looked him up after all these years. And now it looks like I might finally get everything I’ve waited for since I was sixteen years old.
“Is that bad? No, it’s fucking amazing. I always wanted to be your first, but I thought I lost that privilege a long time ago,” he explains, a hint of sadness tingeing his words.
I’m sure he’s thinking back to the time he pushed me away, and all the things he’s had to do in the meantime.
“I know you’re not a virgin anymore, Finn. So, don’t worry about that.” I know I don’t have to reassure him, but I want to.
I’m not going to lie and say that the thought of him losing his virginity with someone other than me doesn’t hurt like a knife to the gut, but I understand. He hates himself enough for the both of us over what he’s been forced to become. He doesn’t need me adding to it.
“I wish I’d saved myself for you. But I can promise you this… While you may not be my first, you will be my fucking last. You’re it for me.” The sincerity in his voice has my pulse beating so loudly I can hear it in my ears. My clit is throbbing beneath my finger, and I can’t help but press down harder, dragging a small moan from my lips.
“Keep stroking your cock, Finley. I want to hear what you sound like when you come. I want you to listen to what you do to my body. Knowing I belong to you is turning me on so much.” I groan when I pull on my nipple as my fingers rub faster against my clit.
“Fuck,” he grunts, and I listen as his movements speed up. It sounds faint in the distance, but I can hear the sound of skin on skin, and I know he’s started stroking himself faster. “I didn’t think my cock could get any harder. Dip your fingers into your cunt for me and tell me how tight you are.”
I don’t hesitate to listen to his instructions. I slide one finger inside, and as I pull back out, I add a second. My pussy feels sofucking tight, and for the first time, it actually feels good. I feel so full, and I keep imagining how it would feel if it were Finn’s fingers instead of mine. “It’s so tight. I’m imagining my fingers are yours.”
“If I had my fingers buried deep in your cunt, I wouldn’t hesitate to pull them out and lick them clean,” he growls, and my stomach tightens at the thought.
Though I’ve never done it before, I pull my fingers from my pussy and look at the wetness that’s spread over them. I tentatively lean forward as I bring the fingers towards my mouth, sticking my tongue out slightly. With a little flick, I gather some of the fluid onto my tongue and taste. It’s not like anything I’ve ever tasted before, but it’s not bad either.
As I lick my fingers clean, I tell Finn what I’m doing. “It’s a little salty, but mostly sweet. It’s got a taste that I can’t quite put a name to, but I don’t think it’s bad.”
“Fuck, are you tasting yourself right now?”
