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It’s funny that the only two women Kellan has ever been in love with have both suffered in the same way. They’ve both been broken by the men who were supposed to love and care for them.
Kellan lets out a small yet sad chuckle, pulling my attention back to him. “The irony isn’t lost on me. I know both Shayla and Mia have had similar experiences in life. I know you’re still friends with Shay, and I’m not sure how much she’s told you, but we’re in a good place now. She’s not necessarily part of our lives, but she will be here for Hallie’s birthdays, and things like that.
“When the time is right, and she’s a lot fucking older, we will tell Hallie her story, and I’ll let her make decisions for herself. But, for now, the Reapers are still a threat, and Shay is keeping away as much as possible to protect her. She also acknowledges that Hallie sees Mia as her mum, which isn’t something I taught her, by the way,” he adds somewhat defensively.
I hold my hands up, letting him know I’m not judging him in any way. “I talk to Shay as much as I can. She will always have some regrets over what happened, but she doesn’t regret giving Hallie to you. She’s safer with you and our family than she ever would’ve been around the Reapers. We can protect her in a way she never could.
“But more than that, she wasn’t ready to be a mum. She still isn’t now. I think you can love someone and still know you’re not what’s best for them.
“Shay told me that the first time she saw Hallie smile at Mia, she knew she was her mum. She loved her in a way Shay just couldn’t. And even though they’ve both been through trauma that none of us can even begin to understand, I think Mia has dealt with hers in a way Shay hasn’t been able to yet.
“Even though she’s got Whiskey protecting her, she’s still living her nightmare, and she can’t move on from it. Whereas Mia has had time away from Whitlock and her abusers, and that has given her the chance to heal.
“I think both women are stronger than we can ever fucking imagined, and that makes me very fucking scared for when Hallie grows up,” I joke, shuddering as I think about how much of a nightmare Hallie is going to be when she’s a teenager.
Kellan’s face hardens. “She’s not growing up.”
I can’t help but chuckle at how serious he sounds. After a few second, a silence sits around us, filling the air as the jokes dissipate and we come back to the giant fucking elephant in the room. “What are we going to do?” I ask.
“I’m supposed to be the one asking you that?”
Kel throws himself back down into his computer chair, suddenly looking very exhausted again. I scrunch my eyes closed as a pounding begins to form in my head. “I didn’t know Mel was this involved. I’m sorry I didn’t see it,” I confess, and when I open my eyes, he’s looking at me sympathetically. “Is there a reason you’ve only told me?”
This question has been vibrating through my brain since I watched the clip. I might understand why he didn’t want to show this to Mia, but I would have thought Liam would be here, at the very least. And it definitely seems like something Bree would want to know about.
He lets out a sigh. “Honestly, I’m worried about telling Mia. She’s made such progress recently, and I don’t want to see her recovery go backwards. She’s in a good place, thinking about our future, and I’m worried this will undo it all. And I didn’t want the others to know if she doesn’t. I can’t ask them to lie to her, but I needed someone to talk to about this, and you’re the most involved.”
His eyes widen, like he’s hoping I’m going to have all the answers for him. “Honestly, Kel, I don’t think I have the answer. But, I maybe do have some words of wisdom for you. Take it from someone who is an expert at lying, and nearly lost the girlof my dreams thanks to those lies…nothing good can come from keeping secrets.
“This is Mia’s life, and she deserves to know. You’d want to know if it were you, and she deserves the same courtesy. I can’t promise that this news won’t cause her to relapse, or struggle.
“All I can say is that this time she has you. You can be there for her, to help her through it. She doesn’t have to cope or heal on her own. You have to trust that your relationship is strong enough, and that the love you have will be enough to pull her out of the darkness.”
Without a word, Kellan stands from his computer chair and walks toward me. He leans down and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I think this may be the first time we’ve ever hugged like this, and that thought hits me like a tonne of bricks.
“Thank you,” he mutters as he pulls back, his eyes misted slightly in a way I’m not used to seeing on him.
“I’m sorry I haven’t said this before, Kel, but I’m glad you’re my brother. When all this is over, we need to hang out more. I know you’ve been mad at me for a while, feeling like I sided with Shay during a time when you were angry at her, and I’m sorry for that. Maybe one day I can tell you about it, and you’ll see how much more she needed a friend. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re my brother—my real brother—and I love you.”
We may be a fucking mafia family, but we’re still close enough to say how we feel. Given Kellan’s startled expression, I wonder if he’s not been dragged into that side of our family yet. I know he’s in the group chat, and gets all the love there, but it’s different hearing it in real life. I make a mental note to tell my siblings about this. I know Kel and Liam have always had a bromance, but I want Kel to know that he matters to all of us.
“I love you, too. Will you stay and be here with me when I tell everyone?” he asks.
“You didn’t even need to ask.”
Just over an hour later, Mia, Liam, Bree, and Kian have joined us in front of the monitor as Kellan shows them all the footage. As soon as the video stops, a deafening silence fills the room. We’re all frozen in place; some standing, others sitting, while I’m leaning against the wall at the back, just watching it all unfold.
A small sob cracks through the silence, and we all turn to Mia. She’s frozen in the seat next to Kellan’s, where I was sitting earlier. Her eyes are fixed on the screen that’s now paused on Mortimer and Mel sitting in his office. A single tear tracks down her cheek as her chest heaves, and the dam bursts, allowing more tears to fall.
Her hand flies to her mouth, trying to cover the sound, and Kel pulls her chair closer to him in an instant. He uses the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks before pulling her in for a hug, while whispering things in her ear that I’m glad we can’t hear.
I look away, the moment suddenly feels too personal to witness. Instead, I glance around the room, assessing the other’s reactions. Both Kian and Liam are wearing matching murderous expressions that I expected to see, and I’m sure in their heads they’re already plotting the Whitlock’s murders.
It’s Red’s expression that catches me off guard. Our normally well put together leader looks almost confused. Her eyes flick from the screen to her best friend, Mia, and as they do, her emotions change. One minute her eyes look murderous, likeshe’s about to burn down the world, but the next a lone tear is streaking down her cheek and the pain she feels for her friend is plain to see.
I don’t know how long it takes, but we all wait patiently for everyone to pull themselves together. Although it’s unspoken, everyone seems to realise we’re now going to have to make some tough decisions, and they’re not ones that should be made recklessly or based on emotion.
“Thank you for telling me,” Mia says, her eyes locked on Kellan, but her voice is loud enough for us all to hear.
