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He closed his eyes and relaxed his limbs, nearly dropping the knife as he let Lucan take control.
“Wake up, sire.” Lucan’s voice was gruff in his ear.
“I’m not asleep, I’m just…” Sebastian didn’t dare say what he was. Absolutely enraptured. Entirely enamored. Falling in love. All he wanted was to curl up in Lucan’s arms and be held against the horrors of the world.
“Tired,” he eventually said.
Lucan made a sound that might have been of sympathy, but he nevertheless roused Sebastian and made him help with the rest of the onerous chores involved with survival. Sebastian did as he was told, held ropes, pulled things taut, struck flint, and watched a spark leap into the tinder and set it smoldering. Together they got warm and ate, and Sebastian had the strangely comforting experience of just getting by with another person.
Never in his life had he ever had to work for anything. He’d never considered for a second where his food would come from, if he would be hungry, or if he might get wet and cold. Now everything mattered. All the things he had taken for granted could no longer simply be expected.
“This is a small tent,” Lucan said. “If you forgive me, sire, we may end up lying in close proximity to stay sheltered, warm, and in the glow of the fire.”
Sebastian did not mind at all, of course. He had never anticipated going to sleep as much as he did now, knowing he would be ever so close to the large, sheltering body of his rough and ready knight.
They laid down together, and at first there was a gap between them, mere inches, but enough for the cool night air to pass between their bodies. Sebastian was not conditioned to the cold. Last night he’d fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion, but this evening he had slightly more of his wits about him.
“Go to sleep, sire,” Lucan growled from the darkness. Seb had no idea how Lucan knew he was still awake. It was possible the knight had some kind of psychic power. Magic was rare, but known to exist. Sebastian had seen it once, but his mother had not held with it, and like all things Melinda Force did not hold with, it was removed from the castle entirely.
“I’m not used to being outside,” Sebastian said. “I can hear the insects and the animals.”
“None of them will bother us. The smoke and embers of the fire will keep most at bay. Creatures of the wild do not like to encounter humans. You are safe. I am here. You can sleep.”
Those three short sentences were comforting enough to make Sebastian fall asleep practically immediately. But it was not until he snugged back just a little, closing the distance between the two of them, that he started to get really close to letting tiredness win.
“May I?”
He did not know what Lucan was offering, but he said yes anyway, because where Lucan was concerned, Sebastian always wanted to say yes.
He felt Lucan shift slightly. Then a large, muscular, and above all, warm arm was slid over his shoulders and down to his waist. Sebastian felt himself being snugged tight against the knight’s body. It was almost all his dreams coming true all at once. He’d had more male contact in the last day than he had in his entire life, and it was everything he had imagined it would be. It was exciting, but it was also comforting. He tried to stay awake to enjoy it. It would be such a waste to just be asleep while he was being held by Lucan. He’d dreamed of this moment for months at least, probably years. The price he had paid for this moment was extreme. It had cost him everything. Not that he’d been given a choice. So he probably shouldn’t feel guilty. But he always felt guilty. He’d felt guilty before his mother and his father and his entire court had been killed. Sebastian had felt guilty every single day of his life since he realized that he preferred men to women.
Lucan had hesitated before putting an arm over his prince. He’d wondered if it would be tantamount to taking advantage, but had decided that it was better to offer comfort than it was to leave a young man shivering in front of him in the night, one day after the most heinous event of his relatively short life.
At first the prince was tense, but finally Sebastian started to relax. He eventually curled up into Lucan’s arms, entirely asleep and seeking comfort. Lucan gave it freely, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of the young man in his arms. Sebastian was warm and strong, and supple and sweet, and having dedicated himself to his survival, Lucan felt very possessive over the young man who would one day be king.
