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At any given moment, some piece of shit could decide they aren’t happy about losing their job when we shut down a sex trafficking ring. Anyone could decide today is the day they seek revenge for a brother getting killed. Hell, we aren’t able to save every woman or child we get hired to rescue, and tragedy has a way of turning the best people into someone even they wouldn’t recognize.
We do good in the world, working our hardest to rid the world of evil. That’s the role of Cerberus, but it doesn’t come without its own set of costs.
“If you go, I can get a hotel room right next to yours. We don’t have to share the same space,” I further explain.
“Is that what you want?”
I tilt my head at her.
“You said no lies. If you don’t want me here, then—”
I silence her with another kiss.
We aren’t meant for a lifetime. This isn’t some fairy tale. I don’t think that’s what either of us want in the end, but I’m not even close to wanting to break free of this right now.
She blinks up at me, that very same desire still burning in her eyes as when we sealed our vows in front of her asshole of a brother. When that leaves, when I can no longer kiss her and feel that spark that threatens to turn into a raging fire, then I’ll know it’s time to take a step back and make different arrangements.
“I want you here,” I tell her truthfully. “I know, eventually, you’re going to want your own place. You’ll want independence and a job.”
She doesn’t argue with me about those facts, and for some reason, it stings a little. The pretending will only go so far, and every person in Cerberus is an expert at reading people. I have no doubt they’ll easily be able to tell the difference between love at first sight—that’s not what this is—and a fake relationship.
She won’t move out with me trailing along, still pretending to be her loving, doting husband.
“Eventually,” she agrees. “Then you won’t have to worry about me at all.”
My head shakes before I can even tell my brain to trigger the response.
“I’ll always have to make sure you’re okay. I don’t see a scenario where you stay in Farmington and I’m not making sure you’re safe. You’re going to be my first ex-wife after all.”
She gives me a quick grin. I may not know much about the woman, but I can already tell a real smile from a fake one. I hate the artificial look in her eyes.
“What have you told people?” she asks.
I have to shrug. “That we’re married. You were there for most of it yesterday. The only conversation I had without you was with my boss this morning. He wanted to confirm that you were coming back with us so he could get you a plane ticket on our flight.”
She holds up a finger. “You had to have spoken with someone about the condoms you produced last night.”
“That too,” I confirm. “But it wasn’t a drawn-out thing. I just asked for them and they were handed over.”
“I just don’t know how to act around everyone,” she says, stepping around me to run her hand over the dark gray comforter on my bed.
“You act like you normally would.”
She huffs a humorless laugh. “Did you miss the part about everyone avoiding me? My normal isn’t exactly well received.”
“I think you’ve spent your life around a town full of assholes,” I tell her, not expecting the frown she gives me in return.
“They aren’t assholes. I’ve given them plenty of reasons to keep their distance.”
“Not letting someone live down their mistakes is assholish behavior,” I clarify.
Her face grows serious as she steps in closer to me.
“I don’t want you to think that I hate the people in Lindell. They’re decent folks. They just have nothing better to do than meddle in other people’s business.”
I pull in a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you about Cerberus.”
Her eyes narrow the very same way they did back at her house, and it still manages to turn me on when it probably shouldn’t.
“Cerberus and everyone connected to them will gossip, too. They aren’t going to interfere or cause problems. They’d never be rude to you, but the whispering isn’t going to stop just because you moved to a new state. Me coming back from a long weekend, married, is going to be the talk of the clubhouse until someone else does something stupid.”
She blinks at me. “Stupid?”
“Fuck,” I whisper. “I don’t mean stupid. Just crazy, off the wall.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I was called crazy.”
“No,” I tell her, grabbing her arm as gently as I can manage before she can fully turn away from me. “We aren’t doing this shit in New Mexico either. I’m not always going to say the right thing. I’ll work on filtering my words, but I need you to stop jumping to the worst conclusion when I fuck up. I’m not out to get you. I’m not talking shit behind your back. This is supposed to be fun, an adventure.”
