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I don’t see any of the people I would normally speak with so I don’t feel like a jerk walking in, getting coffee, and leaving again without saying a word to anyone.
“What happened?” I ask when Newton walks by with a cast on his right arm.
“Bear trap,” the man says as he walks past.
“Sort of,” Derrick says with laughter in his tone.
“Bear trap?” I ask.
I have a gist of what these guys do but a bear trap?
“We have a meeting,” Rocker says as he walks past right behind Newton.
I’ve met Rocker once before, and I know him to be the leader of the team Derrick is on. I also know he doesn’t live at the clubhouse although he might live in one of the many houses on the property. There are so many people in and out around here they’re honestly hard to keep track of.
“Be right there,” Derrick tells him before walking me back to his bedroom. “Sorry. Do you need to call Brielle and tell her you can’t make it this morning?”
I give him the best smile I can manage. “I’ll take care of it.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead before leaving the room.
The man has a job to do. There’s no reason for me to feel cast aside, but that doesn’t stop those feelings from swarming inside of me like a ball of angry wasps.
I have every intention of giving him the benefit of the doubt but then I notice his wallet sitting on the dresser. I won’t go so far as to think that he planned this meeting to keep me from going to the shelter, but if he had any intention of taking me at all, that item, along with the keys sitting beside it, would already be in his pockets. He was guiding me to the front door after all.
Angry as a wet hen, I open the bedroom door and wait until the sound of the heavy doors on the conference room are pulled closed. They have their meetings in there all the time. The last meeting they had took hours before those doors were opened again.
I know what he does is important, but what I do is important as well. I feel duped, taken advantage of, right now.
I ignore the hint of shame I feel when I reach out and grab the keys to the SUV he uses, and I continue to ignore it when I creep down the hallway, afraid to get caught like I’m some sort of prisoner who isn’t allowed to leave.
My spine is a little straighter by the time I make it to the living room, but my feet carry me a little faster once I’m on the front porch. I beep the key fob, watching the headlights to know which vehicle to take because they all look the same. By the time I get inside and I’m pulling away, I nearly hit a fucking fence post while looking in the rearview mirror as if I expect every man in the club to come running out in order to catch me and drag me back inside.
The unease doesn’t settle completely, but I make it to the shelter without incident.
I knock on the door like I normally would, smiling at Brielle when the door is pulled open with her standing behind it.
I’ve never known her to even leave the house, and she always answers it so as to not be seen by anyone who might be driving by.
I flip the keys around my finger as I step inside.
“Did you drive yourself?” Brielle asks, taking a risk I’ve never seen her take before as she glances outside, before shoving the door closed and flipping the two deadbolts into place.
“I did.”
A smile spreads across her face. “Are you alone?”
I nod, smiling even when I feel guilty for having left without telling anyone.
“Good for you.”
“Math?” I ask as I walk further into the room.
“I was thinking I’d just skip it,” she says with a shrug of her shoulders as if my being here is no big deal. “We can watch another movie.”
I pull in a deep breath. This woman has no idea that what I’ve done to keep my promise to her could compromise everything I have here in New Mexico.
“We need to work on math today, Brielle. I won’t be able to make it tomorrow.”
She frowns, but I don’t give in and tell her I can be available to her whenever she wants me here.
I’m going to have to spend time groveling to Derrick after he comes out of his meeting and doesn’t find me waiting patiently in his room for him.
But that thought angers me all over again.
“You know what,” I say, shoving the keys into my pocket. “I think a movie sounds great.”
We walk into the living room and I hate the way two of the other women in there get up and leave the second Brielle enters the room.
