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And if I’m honest with myself, I want to see this through. I want to know what happens.
Now that Benson’s attention is on me again, I don’t know if I’m ready to let that go.
“Just spit it out, baby doll. Lord, you’re making me nervous.”
I swallow just as a notification comes across the top of my screen. It’s from the BullieBoards.
@CameronWhite1
It was an honor.
Seat 61 is yours for the season. Yours, #61
All kinds of butterflies go crazy in my gut, and my heart speeds up as I watch comment after comment follow his post. This is going to work. Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness didn’t have plans not to work for a year and to travel instead. Or have a coffee addiction or a Post-it-notes-buying problem, because what Benson and I have going on is going to bring in a load of cash. This is going to be the greatest project of my college career, and I can’t turn my back on that.
Chapter Fourteen
Cameron
Even though I know my mom may get mad, I tell her my plan, and like a coward, I don’t look at her as I do it. I know that’s pathetic and I know that I am an adult, but I want her to support me. I want her to believe in me, and I know she’s still upset with my choice from freshman year. She couldn’t have kids after me, and I know she wanted Benson’s and my child, but I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do it. Because of everything that happened, our relationship hasn’t been the same. Though, even when I was growing up, I knew she kept me at arm’s length. Given that I was the product of her teenage rape by her pastor and then her being forced to have me, I think she has always resented me.
Which is why my stepdad made us go to therapy after my abortion. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like her interactions with me now are all for show. Like, my stepdad is there watching to make sure, but really, she hates me. Or I’m being dramatic, as she always claims.
“The insights are insane, and that was before I even went to his game last night. He gained so many followers, and I did too, across all our platforms. With my going to the game last night, our socials are buzzing. I have over three million likes on my video of him from last night.”
“Social media isn’t everything,” she interjects, and I mean, she’s right. But for my generation, it is.
“I am aware, but I had to think outside of the box. I wanted to do something I know no one has done because no one has the status Benson and I have.”
Even though it’s been three years, when I look up at her, I still feel like that scared little girl who lay on the bathroom floor and told her I was pregnant. I meet her gaze, and as I suspected, she doesn’t look pleased. “Why him, though?”
“Mom, he’s the most successful influencer on campus. He’s going into the NHL draft top ten, and since we have history with the Beauty and the Bull campaign, it only made sense for it to be him.”
Her eyes narrow. “He knocked you up. I don’t know how you can even look at him after all that.”
I make a face. “We got pregnant, Mom. It takes two to tango, and in all reality, it may be more on me since I was the one who was on antibiotics.”
“It doesn’t matter. He didn’t stop you from getting the abortion.”
“Because he didn’t want a baby,” I say, glaring at her. “Neither of us did. But he was ready to marry me, support me, because he knew my life would be the one to change, not his.”
“I don’t—”
“Mom, he was amazing, so supportive, and I ghosted him. So, really, why he’s even speaking to me is beyond me.”
“Because he probably wants back in your pants.”
I glare. “Mom, please. He isn’t like that.” Though, I do leave out his “I have needs’” comment because, really, don’t we all? I know I told Callie I don’t, but I have been vividly imagining riding Benson for longer than I care to admit. I’m throbbing between my legs even though my mom is reprimanding me for choosing the boy I’m riding in my head, so yeah, I’m a total idiot.
“All boys are.”
“Not him. He’s a good dude and wants to help me with this, and I’m helping him. I’ve already heard back from all the companies I’ve contacted. This is going to go great, and there are no feelings between us. We’re friends.”
“Cameron, you can’t be friends with someone you dated and got knocked up by.”
“That’s not true. While we have a loaded history, we do care for each other as friends.”
