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“I don’t like them because I don’t like him, and I never will,” Mom announces, and I roll my eyes. Hell, even Dad does.
“You don’t even know him,” I remind her, but she isn’t hearing me.
“He doesn’t deserve you.”
“No one does,” Dad adds. “Don’t forget that. But I know you’re a smart girl. You’ll do what needs to be done.”
“Until she—”
“Please don’t,” he says, cutting her off, and I have truly always loved this man. “For the love of God, leave the past in the past. Stop beating a dead horse.”
His eyes meet mine and I thank him with a small smile. He winks and my heart soars. He’s always been good to me, good to my mom, even when she doesn’t deserve it. He looks past her trauma, her hard life, and just loves her. And me. They don’t make men like him anymore. The kind that looks past what haunts you and tries to ease your fears, but Charles White is just that.
The saving grace in my life when it comes to my mom.
As they start to bicker, the way they always do, I ignore them both as I pick up my phone, seeing a text from Callie.
Callie: He’s asking for your number.
I press my lips together.
Me: I’ll give it to him tomorrow.
Callie: He was super bummed you didn’t come out. It was a good photo op, according to him.
It was, but unlike him, my emotions are raw.
Me: I can’t right now.
Callie: Can’t what? Thank him in person for coming? Give him your number so you and he can talk? I don’t get it.
Me: I don’t either. Just let it be. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.
Callie: Cam, come on.
Me: I don’t owe him anything. This is just an arrangement, remember?
Callie: Let me tell you something. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, Cameron. You’re delusional, and before you lose a chance with a good guy, get your head out of your ass.
I shut my phone off, throwing it in my bag as I cover my face with my hands. The darkness makes me feel safe as I close my eyes, exhaling. I wish I could appreciate how he calmed me, how I loved having him at my meet, but I can’t. I can’t tell him that, expect something I don’t deserve. I don’t want to hear what she has to say because I’m not delusional, and in this situation, the only denial is that damn river.
I’m keeping my heart locked down.
Safe.
Chapter Twenty
Cameron
I didn’t sleep at all last night.
Because I came up with a plan.
One I am confident will work and will help me control all these weird desires, feelings, and whatever else is coursing through me. I feel as if I don’t know myself, honestly. I’ve been fine, great even, the last three years. Just doing me, kicking ass at school and gymnastics, and making great content. I haven’t needed or desired anyone; I’ve been just fine.
It has to stay that way.
If I weren’t an impulsive idiot, I would have done what my mom said and selected someone else for this little project, but since I chose otherwise, it’s cool. Benson is the best for this. I know he is. Not only is he smart, gorgeous, and talented, he knows how to make quality content. I don’t have to teach him, which is a blessing. I rewatched his “Shape of You” video of me three times, reposted it on all my socials, and people are eating it up.
We look great together. Better than great, if I’m honest, but that doesn’t matter. I have this whole thing completely under control. Each interaction, each meeting, all our social media posts, everything. It’s all planned to a tee. We won’t need to talk outside of coordinating when we post. I’ve got this. He can focus on hockey and school, and I can do the same, just with gymnastics. Everything is going to be fine. No feelings, no desires, no coming will be involved. I’m confident.
Until Benson enters the compound corridor where our photo shoot is being held.
Why does he have to be so…striking? He walks in, looking bigger than ever in his pads and Bullies jersey. His hair is styled to the side, and he has the most delectable five-o’clock shadow going on. His eyes are dark yet bright, if that makes sense. His lips look fuller today, or maybe I just think they are so I can stare at them to figure out why. Damn it, where the hell did my confidence go?
I have a freaking plan!
Benson’s eyes search the room until they find me. Within seconds, heat is coursing through my body like wildfire. I feel wholly naked at that moment, which is insane since I’ve lived my life in a leotard. Yeah, my legs are out and my ass fights to stay in its assigned spot, but it’s nothing to me. That all changes the moment his heated gaze lands on me. He makes his way through the room, not even saying excuse me as he closes the distance between us. Unlike yesterday, he doesn’t come toe-to-toe with me, though, nor does he wrap his arms around me.
