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“You don’t know I wouldn’t have chosen you. I never knew you were an option.”
“Because I wasn’t. Only an asshole makes a move on his brother’s girl.”
“Ben, how long?” Her voice catches and I feel an ache in my chest.
I look away. “The whole time. I wanted to ask you out in high school but didn’t have the balls. I had a hockey tournament the weekend of the dance he asked you to, and the rest is history.”
A few moments of silence pass before she sniffles. Fucking hell. I’d rather have her screaming at me than crying.
“You went through a marriage ceremony with me. That must have been...”
I put a hand on her back. “It was incredible, Stel. I’d do it again a hundred times.”
“But I never would’ve asked if I’d known! I never would’ve asked you to come on this honeymoon and pretend we—God, so much makes sense now. I’m the least observant woman ever.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I never did or said anything to give away my feelings.”
“You got hard when I slept on you on the flight here and you kept telling everyone how lucky you are.”
I exhale with exasperation. “Okay, after you guys weren’t together anymore. But fuck, I’m only human. I didn’t know we’d be naked massaging each other and talking about sex. And yeah, when your dream woman cozies up to you for the first time, it’s kind of impossible not to get excited.”
“You meant the kiss!” Her tone is loaded with accusation. “At the wedding. That wasn’t for show.”
“No. You want me to apologize for having feelings for you?”
“It’s not the feelings, Ben. It’s the fact that you didn’t tell me.”
I shake my head. “It would’ve changed everything.”
“Was that defense good enough for Owen?”
I recoil, pissed off at Stella for the first time in my life. “Don’t fucking compare me to him. I’d never do what he did.”
“I know that. But I thought you respected me enough to always be honest with me.”
Standing up, I brush the sand from my legs. “Look, I get that this is a surprise. But I’m not a villain, I’m the underdog. I don’t think any rational person would do things differently than I did. Think about it on your own for as long as it takes you to realize that.”
I walk away then, though a big part of me wants to turn back around and make up with her. She just doesn’t get it, though. Why would I have told her the truth when she asked me to fake the rehearsal dinner with her? All I’ve ever wanted was to come through for her. To make her happy. And impossible as it always seemed, to be with her.
All I’ve ever done is love her, and I’m not begging her forgiveness for that. Even if it means the bubble of happiness we’ve been living in gets destroyed before we leave the island.
“We have meals like this in the lifestyle,” Cindy says as the Ambassador couples sit down for our final meal together—a sushi bar. “You switch partners and feed each other finger foods. It can be so sensual. I once orgasmed from being fed a banana split by a stranger.”
“How delightful,” Sean says blandly.
“Oh, it was. I squirted for the first time that night.”
Tanisha sets down her chopsticks, her eyes wide. “I need a drink. Anyone else need one?”
“I’ll go to the bar with you,” Stella says.
Stella and I spent our last morning on the island mostly in silence. She went to buy gifts for her family and Claire while I had a late breakfast with Dom and Rowan. Our bags are already loaded onto the shuttle and we’re leaving for the airport after lunch.
I spent my last night here sleeping on the shitty couch, Stella closing the door to the bedroom as soon as she came back to the room. I guess having the door closed two nights out of seven is...decent? Not what I would have chosen, though.
After Stella and Tanisha return, Sean orders eight glasses of champagne, proposing a toast when they arrive.
“We didn’t know what to expect from this program, but it’s added a lot of fun to our honeymoon. A lot of memories we’ll treasure and laugh about for years to come. Braden and I wish you all long, healthy, and happy marriages. Here’s to new friends and new adventures.”
“To new friends,” I say as we all clink glasses and drink.
“And if anyone ever wants to join the lifestyle, call us anytime,” Cindy says. “We’d welcome any of you.”
Tanisha sets her glass down and smiles. “It’ll be an ice-cold day in hell when I share my man with another woman.”
“But we appreciate the thought,” Tre adds, ever the diplomat.
When we all exchange contact information, I give Cindy and Pervis the wrong phone number. But Tre, Tanisha, Sean, and Braden all get the right one. I wish I could invite them all to Denver for a game, but here I’m supposed to be an attorney.
