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I lean in. "Tell me what you think so far."
Again, he seems to hesitate but then says, "Okay, I do already have some thoughts."
I push the papers I'm reading away, and lean in on my forearms. "Well, that's what this is for right? You always help make my writing better. Tell me what you’re thinking."
He takes a breath, then says, "Honestly? I wish you weren’t writing another mafia romance.”
I frown. “That’s what did so well for me before.”
“So you’re not writing it because you really love it or had a story that you were dying to tell. You’re doing it because you think that’s what you have to do to find success,” he says.
“That makes sense, doesn’t it?” I ask, rather than admitting that no, I’m not dying to tell dark stories about people in the mafia. I struggle with the violence.
“On one hand,” he agrees. “But you’ve only written one story. You could have just as much success with something else.”
“You don’t like the story,” I say. It’s obvious, and I have to swallow down my disappointment.
"You're just not this person, Dani,” he says, glancing at the screen. “You’re not…dark and twisty. This feels very superficial. Like you’re just writing what you think you’re supposed to write. None of this feels natural or like your heart is in it.”
I frown. "You think I don’t like my own book?"
He meets my gaze. “I don’t. I think this is something you feel obligated to do. It’s not something you love doing. You should write something that excites you.”
I force myself to really let his words in. Michael loves me. He’s not trying to hurt my feelings. He is trying to help me. I know that.
Nathan and Crew would read it and tell me it was amazing and tell me they love it because I wrote it.
And they would mean it. Absolutely.
Or maybe they wouldn’t actually love the writing itself, but they would never tell me.
Michael, on the other hand, can be proud of me for trying, for doing the writing, for starting a new project, and still think I can do better.
I take a deep breath. “So what about…a rom-com?” I ask, feeling a little panicked even saying it out loud. My readers, the only ones I have, know me as a dark mafia romance writer.
But I struggled to plot this book because I kept thinking of funny, light story ideas.
He lifts a brow. "I think that you could write a really sexy rom-com. Maybe with hockey. You’re basically living a sexy hockey rom-com,” he says with a small smile.
“Really?” I ask. But I know he would never tell me that if he didn’t mean it.
“Of course. You’re a light, happy, loving person. You’re sexy, adventurous, and funny. You could definitely write something that’s all of those things.”
I feel a little flip in my belly. Michael truly cares. He wants my writing to be successful because he loves and respects me. He does believe that I can be the writer that I’ve always dreamed of being.
Nathan and Crew know about my writing. They've read my stories. They take me out to celebrate when the stories do well.
But my connection with Michael is different. He definitely understands what I'm trying to do. He helps me through plotting, and he helps me with the actual storylines and characterizations. He gets it all on a deeper level.
Part of that is why I feel likeIhave not taken as much interest inhimas I should have.
So I let myself actually think about what he’s saying and not just throw up defenses because he's critiquing what I’ve written.
I am writing very dirty but yes, definitely dark stories about mafia men who kidnap and force women into situations they don't want.
There's gun fighting, knives. There's definitely blood and sometimes people die.
I think about some of the other romances that I read. I love the light, funny ones. Some of the romantic comedies are extremely sexy, with multiple partners.
