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I still remember the smile she gave me when I handed her my knife and told her to get carving. The carving was still here six years ago when I took a picture of it to get it tattooed on my ribs. She had put so much time into that carving, getting the looping letters just right.
That’s why I pay the owner to not sand this table down and refinish it. It’s why I’ve come here after every album release and sat in this booth, just staring down at our names and eating garlic knots.
“It looks like the owner likes our names enough to keep them there,” I say, glancing up at her.
The soft smile on her face sends my heart racing. Blood rushes in my ears as Cassie continues to trace our names. When she looks up at me, the rest of the restaurant fades away.
I’m never letting her go again.
CHAPTER 13
CASSIE
Tyler walks me to the door, the familiar goofy smile on his face. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that smile. The media doesn’t capture it. They only get pictures of the sullen rockstar.
“You know, if you keep taking me out on dates to our old haunts, I’m going to start building a time machine.” I loop my arms over his shoulders, rising to my toes as he dips his head.
“The two of us wouldn’t have been good for each other back then.”
He kisses me softly, his lips moving in time with mine as his arms wrap around my waist. My heart pounds as the scent of his spicy cologne engulfs me. Tyler holds me a little tighter, like he’s afraid I might disappear if he lets me go.
When we finally part, both breathless and smiling, I’m at a loss for words.
This is too good to be true. It’s impossible for Tyler to change this much, this quickly. Things are good right now, but he’s onlygoing to hurt me again. I know it’s coming, and I have to be ready for it.
The words echoed through my head at the end of our first three dates and they’re present again tonight. As much as I want to believe that Tyler has changed — that he isn’t going to leave me when things get messy — there’s history there.
That history can’t be ignored, even if I want it to.
I’m toeing a thin line between falling for him all over again and trying to hold myself back. Giving into Tyler is giving him the power to hurt me again.
He’s an addiction I can’t quite shake.
“I’ll see you at practice tomorrow,” Tyler says, kissing me quickly again before stepping back.
“See you tomorrow.”
He stands on my front porch, waiting until I’m inside before heading back to his car. I listen to the purr of the engine before the sound fades as he drives away.
As soon as he’s gone, I slump against the door and run a hand through my hair. Paige steps out of the shadowy kitchen and into the bright hallway. I jump slightly before laughing.
“You scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know you were here.”
Paige loops her arm through mine and pulls me into the living room. She gives me a gentle shove onto the couch before sitting on the coffee table in front of me. The way she’s looking at me is the same expression my mother had before she gave me the sex talk.
“It’s time we have a chat about what’s going on between you and Tyler. When you decided to get back with the band, it seemed like you hated him and now, you’re going on dates with him. I’m worried about you, Cassie.”
I lean back into the cushions and close my eyes. “I don’t know what to think, Paige. I like him. I’ve always liked him. When’s he acting like the Tyler I know, being around him is addictive. It’s easy.”
“That sounds like there’s a but coming.”
“There is.” I open my eyes and glance out the window at the stars dancing high in the sky. “He’s a flight risk. He left me last time and there’s nothing stopping him from leaving me again. It’s easy right now, but what’s going to happen when it’s not?”
“I don’t know.” Paige leans forward and rests her forearms on her thighs. “I just want you to be happy, Cassie. I can see right now that you are, but I know what he did to you. I know the way he betrayed you. You’re willing to just forgive all of that?”
“Forgive, yes. Forget, no. We’re working on it. We’re keeping the dates a secret for now and it’s working for us. It’s giving us a chance to figure out who the other person is again. I don’t know where this is going to go — and I do have my doubts — but I’m starting to think that Tyler has changed.”
Paige sighs and gets up to grab a bottle of white wine from the fridge. She pours two glasses before coming back. The glass she hands me is cool against my fingers. As she sits beside me, the couch dips down.
