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I lean back on the plush sofa, the leather creaking under my weight. “But you’re a good person. Caught in a shitty situation.”
She nods, her eyes glistening in the dim light. Her vulnerability calls to me and coaxes the beast lurking within, but I resist. I resist because this isn’t about me. It’s about her.
“No one deserves that,” I say. “You deserve better.”
She blinks at me, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “Why...” Her voice falters, her gaze dropping to her hands. “Why are you being so kind?”
I shrug. “Maybe there’s a part of me that’s not so fucked up. A part that recognizes something beautiful when he sees it. And I want to protect and cherish it.” And maybe, just maybe, that part of me is stronger than I’d like to admit. I don’t add that because she needs to see the true man beneath the cloth tonight. We need to see each other’s true colors and find out if we can accept each other as we are.
“Enough about that, let’s eat,” I say, easing the tension.
I rise from the couch, heading toward the kitchen. The clink of cutlery and plates is a welcome distraction from our conversation. I place two plates on the small dining table, get the steak and fries from the diner out of the oven, and plate the food.
“Come and sit,” I demand.
She rises reluctantly from the couch and sits, putting her wine on the table. “This looks delicious, even if you didn’t cook it.”
I sit opposite. “I didn’t know what food you like.”
“Steak is perfect.”
I smile at her as a lull in conversation ensues. But it’s not awkward; we’re both too focused on the food.
As we eat, the silence is weighted with things unsaid. The air is charged with that electric tension that follows us. “So, Madison,” I start, my voice cutting through the silence, “What are your dreams?”
She looks up, surprised at the question. “Dreams?”
“Yeah, what do you want from life? What’s your biggest aspiration?” I ask.
She chews, taking a moment before she responds. “I guess I haven’t given it much thought because I’ve been running, but I want to be happy.” Her voice is soft. “What about you?”
I pause because no one’s ever asked me that. Dreams. Most of my life has been a fucking nightmare, so I’ve never allowed myself to have dreams. Instead, becoming a priest was the closest I’d ever come to some kind of peace, and yet I’m fucking that up with this girl. “Peace,” I reply.
Her brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
I look into her beautiful eyes and sigh. “Before I became a priest, I wasn’t a good man. Peace was all I could hope for, and I think I’d found it until...” I don’t want to blame her for what’s happening between us. I’m as much to blame.
“Until?” she pushes.
“Until you.” I can’t lie. She’s the reason my world has tilted on its axis. The reason I’ve turned back to the dark side and become a fucking stalker, breaking into her home. And yet, it’s not her fault. These perverse tendencies are a part of me. A part I’ve been trying to bury deep.
“Me?” Madison’s eyes widen. “What have I...?” She pauses, the air suddenly heavy around us.
“You’re not like other girls. You’re a storm, Madison. And I’m a ship lost at sea.”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “That’s a rather dramatic metaphor, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” I admit. “But it’s the truth. You came into my life like a whirlwind, turning everything upside down. And now, I can’t... I won’t go back to how things were.”
She understands. I see the flash of fire in her eyes at my declaration. I broke my vows twice in the goddamn church, licking and fingering her sweet little cunt. And now that I’ve had a taste, there’s no stopping this.
“But you can’t?—”
I growl, cutting her off. “I’ll warn you only once. I don’t like people telling me I can’t do something.”
Her eyes widen a fraction as she swallows her last piece of steak. I watch her finish her fries, washing them down with a large gulp of wine.
Charged silence fills the air. “Go and sit on the couch,” I order.
