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“I have noright being angry at what you said to me. You’re frustrated andcaught up in a situation you have no way out of. I- “
“Shut up.”She whispered hoarsely, her heart burning at the look on his handsomeface.
“Stop trying tovindicate me. I was a bitch and I took my frustrations out on you andit’s not for the reason you think.” Taking a deep breath,she bridged the distance between them. “I need sex.”
His eyebrows shotup as he stared at her. “I -I don’t understand.”
“I’mpropositioning you, you idiot.” Her hands gripped his arm andshe felt the muscles clench. “I want you to do me- God! I’mmaking this worse.” Her fingers were digging into his arms.“I’m pregnant and horny and I need you. It’s thatsimple or that complicated.”
He stared at her insilence for a minute and didn’t move.
“You’regoing to have to say something.”
“You- youwant to have sex?”
“Yes.”
“With me?”
“Yes.”She told him patiently and waited while he continued to look ather.
“You told meyou want to explore- “
“I said Imight meet someone. I’m not looking. I’m still waitinghere.”
“If we do-“He took a breath as he continued to stare at her. “It’llchange everything.”
“I’m notasking you to marry me, Dion. It’s just sex.” She lied.
“And you can dothat? Just have sex and go back to where we were?”
“Does itmatter?”
“Our friendshipmeans the world to me. It’s what’s been keeping me afloatever since that- ever since I messed up.”
“You don’twant to sacrifice that?”
“I don’tknow what to do, Odette. Will you hate me when things go bad?”
“Will they gobad?”
“God.” Heclosed his eyes and twisted out of her grasp. “I should bejumping up and down with excitement at your offer. I thought I wascoming here for you to tell me that you hate me for messing up yourlife and I spent the time since you called, willing myself to acceptthat I won’t have you in my life.” He turned away fromher.
“I’mfrozen in time. You know what I’ve been through with her. Itried taking someone to bed a few months after and I froze. Icouldn’t get it up, it was embarrassing as hell, but I couldn’tperform.” He turned to look at her. “I don’t wantyou to be disappointed in me.”
Her eyes wereshadowed and she had to take several breaths to steady herself. “Isit because you love her so much?” She asked achingly.
“No.” Hetold her shortly, turning to face her. “She was into violenceand she made it attractive to me. It was sick, she made me –no!” He shook his head. “She didn’t hold a gun tomy head. I did it all by myself. I could have told her to go to hell.I did them because I wanted to please her. I’m afraid ofhurting you.”
“Physically?”
“Yes. Idon’t want you to hate me.”
“That couldnever happen.” She walked over to him again and took his handsin hers. “We’ll take our time. I’ll tell you ifyou’re being too rough.”
“She‘dmake me wrap my hands around her throat and squeeze until I waspractically strangling her.”
Odette felt sick withdisgust and pity for him, for what he’d gone through.
