AllFreeNovel
Share Us
On the outside, I’m a responsible, well-adjusted adult planning for parenthood. On the inside, I’m a mess of doubts and unanswered questions.
“Marissa?” Dr. Townsend wrestles me out of my thoughts. “Do you want to know the baby’s sex?”
Another question I’m not sure how to answer.
Undecided, I turn to John. “I don’t know; we haven’t discussed it.” I look from John to the screen and back. “You want to know? I wanted it to be a surprise.”
John smirks at me. “I sort of already know…”
My jaw drops. “What? How?”
He jerks his chin toward the ultrasound monitor. “I looked at the picture.”
I stare at the black screen where our baby cucumber is floating, feet up in the air. All I’m able to discern are their head and limbs. But of course John can tell the sex, he’s an ob-gyn and a neonatal surgeon.
My lower lip begins to wobble.
John takes my hand. “Marissa, what’s wrong?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I wail.
He gives me a little squeeze. “It can still be a surprise for you.”
“Nooo. Now I have to know.”
“Why?”
I point an accusing finger at him. “Because you know.”
“That logic is unquestionable,” he says in an accepting tone.
“Don’t be understanding,” I half-hiss, half-bawl. “You’re making things worse.”
Dr. Townsend clears his throat. “It’s okay to experience heightened emotions during pregnancy—”
“I’m not being emotional,” I bark, now full-on psycho-raging.
John sits on the bed beside me and strokes my forehead, but I swat his hand away.
“Marissa, look at me.”
I avert my eyes.
“Marissa.” He takes my chin and turns my head. “It’s going to be okay. The most important thing is that the baby is healthy. A strong heartbeat, other organs that are developing correctly, ears that work, that’s all that matters. The gender is irrelevant.”
I peer up at him, tears streaming down my cheeks, then back at the monitor. The little cucumber throws a kick. I feel it in my belly.
“The baby kicked.” I stare at the two doctors in wonder. Then my eyes settle on John.
He stares at me with an expression impossible to decipher and then turns to his colleague. “Dr. Townsend, if the ultrasound is completed, would you mind leaving us a minute?”
“Sure.”
My doctor stands up, looking actually relieved he’s able to escape the crazy pregnant woman.
John takes the doctor’s place on the chair next to the bed and begins to gently clean the gel from my belly with a paper towel.
The baby kicks again.
