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“I love you, John.”
“I love you too, Marissa, but that’s never been the problem. You’ve kept me at arm’s length for months. So why the sudden change?”
“I’ve missed you. My life has been miserable without you these past two weeks.”
His eyes search mine. “Are you sure you’re not just coming out of two stressful as hell weeks, feeling overwhelmed about being a single mom, and wanting to take the easy way out?”
I free my hands and cup his cheeks. “John, being with you isn’t the easy way out. It still terrifies me… and I already know that giving in to my feelings for you will be the biggest gamble of my life.”
“I’m not going to leave you, I—”
I silence him by pressing a finger over his mouth. “I know.”
“Then why are you terrified?”
“Because I could still lose you.” I drop my hands to his chest. “Something could happen to you and I’d be devastated. But I know that this time, if you left me, it wouldn’t be your choice. That even if something as catastrophic as an awful disease happened, you’d fight tooth and nail to stay with me, to stay with Nora.” I grab his hand and guide it to my belly. “To stay with our baby. I trust you, John. With my heart, with my soul.”
I see the moment my words finally sink in as a wide range of emotions passes over his face in quick succession: hope, acceptance, relief, joy… hunger. The last one sticks. He pulls me back against him so hard, I gasp. Then our lips collide. I hook my arms around his neck, and he lifts me from the ground, pressing me harder into the wall. And while the position looks great in movies, it’s not that practical in real life—especially not when there’s two of us he has to lift up. John struggles to keep me upright while maintaining his balance. In an awkward shifting of bodies, we slowly slide down the wall and collapse on a heap on the floor. We start laughing.
Still smiling like the happiest man on Earth, John pulls me close again and kisses the tip of my nose.
I pull away, my breathing heavy, my legs weak even if I’m lying on the floor. “You asked me a question a while ago.” I trail my fingers over his chest. “And I said no.” The storm in his eyes intensifies. “Ask me again, ask me now.”
He pretends to think. “When I asked you if I was irresistible?”
I smile. “No, not that question. The one you showed me across the window.”
Dead serious again, John pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, staring at me like a man who has just found water in the desert.
“Marry me?” he whispers.
“Yes.”
I pull him down for a kiss to seal the deal.
And so it happens that the first time Johnny Raikes and I make love is not planned, or in a lavish hotel room with fancy clothes to pull off. It’s the most spontaneous act on my kitchen floor, in the most unromantic spot in the world, while I’m wearing sweats. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
51
JOHN
“Where do you want to live?” I hold Marissa in my arms, still not sure this is really happening.
She shifts under the covers, lids heavy, humming lazily. After desecrating the kitchen floor, we moved to her much more comfortable bed.
“I don’t know. I love this place, but it only has two bedrooms, and I’d want both Nora and the baby to each have their own room.”
“Would you consider staying at my house?”
Her eyes flutter open in a panic. “You mean moving in next door to my parents? Heck, no.” She pouts in the cutest way. “I love them, but that would be too close proximity.”
“I promise you’ll cherish having your mom at your beck and call once the baby comes, and Nora loves it there.” I give her intense eye contact.
“Are you seducing me into saying yes?”
I waggle my eyebrows. “Is it working?”
“Yes.” She pulls me down into a kiss. “After saying the first yes, it appears I will say yes to everything else you ask.”
