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“Touché,” I concede.
“But really, boss, go for it. At the very least, talk to her.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why not?”
“For starters, I have to fill out a form saying I can’t be her doctor.”
“But that’s a plus. No conflict.”
“She’s going to have a baby. Marissa won’t have time to listen to me.”
“Petty excuses. Whether or not something comes out of it, you have to apologize to that woman. For her sake as well as yours.”
I stare at my research associate. I can see my reflection in the lenses of her glasses.
“You’re right.” I force a smile. “But that’s a thought for another day. We should go home now before the cleaning staff has to chase us away again.”
“All right.” Amada hops off the desk and heads to the door, pausing on the threshold. “Are you coming?”
“I just have to file the conflict form.”
“All right, boss, see yah tomorrow.”
I scribble our info in the doctor-patient form and stash it into Marissa’s medical record. Taking the folder with me as I leave, I drop it on Dr. Townsend’s desk on my way out.
Walking still feels strange. The walls seem to close in on me. The ground under my feet is shaky. But Amada is right. I must have a serious talk with Marissa, for both our sakes. But first, I have to find the proper time and place. And muster the courage to own my mistakes.
7
MARISSA
The air outside the clinic is not nearly cool enough to help me sober up. But at least, not sharing the same oxygen as Johnny Raikes feels like a major improvement.
What in the heck just happened?
John is back in New York—permanently, it seems.
In a sudden panic that he’ll come out of the clinic, I rush away from the entrance door in a random direction, following the Hudson River downtown.
When I’m at a safe distance, I sit on a bench and stare out at the river. The sun has already set, and only the last smears of orange and yellow color the sky.
As I watch the city of Hoboken slowly being engulfed in darkness on the other bank, questions swirl in my head.
Why did he move back? Why now? And why did I break out in hives the moment I saw him? What the heck is going on?
For the past sixteen years, I’ve done my best to learn as little as possible about Johnny and his life. Clearly a mistake. In business, you never ignore your enemies. You track their every move to always be prepared. That’s what I should’ve done. That’s what I will do from now on—starting right away.
I fish my phone out of my bag and call my sister.
“Marissa.” Teresa picks up on the second ring. “A call before nine in the evening. Is the world ending?”
“Ha, ha, hilarious.” Tessie lives in Silicon Valley where tech companies have a more hipster approach to the work-life balance. They get off work at 5p.m., have napping pods in the office, and personal mental health days. We New Yorkers are still grinders. “Are you free to talk?”
“Yeah, I was just leaving.” See? I told you, she’s three hours behind but already going home. “What’s up?”
“I need you to tell me everything you know about Johnny Raikes.”
