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“Johnny Raikes, you made me wait sixteen years for this moment. I’m tired of waiting.”
34
JOHN
Marissa’s words land straight in my groin, but I have to keep thinking with my brain.
“Are you sure?” I repeat.
“I want you,” she whispers, her eyes glazed with lust.
I say nothing, only grab onto her hips and pull her up to me. I want to kiss her again, so raw and honest. Instead, I ask, “Why now?”
She looks at me for a moment, confused by the question. “Because you kissed me after all these years. And now it feels… I don’t know, like a good time.”
A good time, sure. Not what I’m aiming for, though. I want more. I want everything.
I pull up onto my elbows and straighten up so that she’s still straddling me, but we’re both seated. “Tell me you trust me. Tell me you believe I won’t hurt you again.”
Her eyes come back into sharp focus. “Why?”
“I can’t be half in, Marissa.”
“Half into what?” She scrambles off me.
“This, us.”
“This is just sex,” she says, getting off the couch and putting even more distance between us. “Or was going to be just sex. Now you’ve ruined it.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
Her lips press into a hard line. She hates being wrong. “What do you want from me? You insisted we kissed.”
I stand as well. “And I don’t regret it. But I also don’t want you to have any regrets and wake up tomorrow morning thinking about tonight as a mistake.”
“What do you want then?”
“You, all of you. I want the full package. To be with you, to be a family.”
“That’s too much, John, too soon.”
I smile, taking a step toward her. “Exactly my point and why we should wait to…” I waggle my eyebrows.
She scoffs, throwing her hands in the air. “You’re impossible.”
I grab her by the hips again. “I want you to fall in love with me again before anything happens.”
“And what about you? Shouldn’t you be in love?”
“I’m already there.”
Her eyes narrow. “You seriously want me to believe you’ve fallen back in love with me in a month?”
“No.” I push a lock of hair away from her face. “Because I’ve never fallen out of it. Seeing you again only reminded me of what I’ve been running away from all this time. But I’m here now. For you, for our baby.”
“You’re only missing ‘until death do us part’ at the end of that sentence to sound any more ridiculous.”
“Why? I’d marry you in a heartbeat.”
