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“Now then,” she said more loudly, looking beyond the small figure of the Pharoah to Shai, “I do not mean to disturb your training, Master Shadow, but perhaps you could include me in your instruction.”
He inclined his head.
“If you wish it, Regent Hatasu. I can teach you.”
Shai conferred with his second in command, delegating the training of their men, as well as the boy king, to Ahmed’s capable hands.
Once they began the usual routines, he took Heba to the side, a good distance from the group, and addressed her privately.
“Is there a reason for the sudden desire to acquire martial arts, my Queen?”
She blinked up at him, her expression giving nothing away.
“I am merely preparing for an inevitable future,” she murmured. “I cannot rely on your protection forever.”
She could have swung a war hammer at his head and he wouldn’t have been more stunned.
“Why do you say this?” he demanded before he could take care with his words and tone.
Long, dark lashes fluttered over her eyes, shielding them from view.
“I realized recently that between Thutmose and me, he is more important to protect. You are the best warrior in the kingdom. Rightly, you should be protecting him, not me.”
“He is well guarded, my Queen,” Shai said firmly. “I have doubled—”
“Besides,” she interrupted, “As long as you are with me, you cannot pursue your own wants.”
“My wants?” he echoed dumbly, not understanding a whit of what she was implying.
Still not meeting his eyes, she whispered, “You cannot take your own woman as long as you are guarding me, spending every moment of every day in my presence. The other day, when you visited your parents, they said—”
“Forgive me, my Queen,” he interjected in turn, “but their desires are not my own.”
She looked up at him then, her eyes wide.
“You do not wish for a wife and a family? You do not want the comfort of a woman’s—”
He stepped close, invading her space, abruptly cutting her off, her mouth agape as her eyes widened even more.
“Why are you asking this?” he rasped low.
Her chest heaved slightly as if she struggled with breath. Though he towered over her, their bodies almost touching, she didn’t step back from him. Didn’t complain of his nearness.
But she was agitated, he could tell. As if she struggled mightily within herself. As if she wanted him closer and wanted to push him away at the same time.
He tried never to use his size to intimidate her, but he couldn’t help it now. He wanted to shut down this string of thought, wherever it came from.
“I-I…” she stuttered, craning her head back to meet his gaze, “I just want you to have more freedom. D-don’t you want—”
“I vowed to protect you,” he reminded her, not letting her finish.
“I will do so for the whole of my life. And even when I enter the afterlife, as you Egyptians believe, I will protect you still.”
“But—”
“I told you before that there is no one,” he bit out, growing increasingly frustrated with this discussion.
“No woman or man that I desire. This has not changed.”
