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“Yeah, it’s the coffee,” she admits. “Maybe I overdid it this morning. But what about you? You’re literally sleeping standing up, Chrissy.” Unfortunately, Greg’s balding head appears above us before I can reply.

“What’s going on here?” our manager whines with his beady eyes darting right to left.

“Sorry, Greg, it was my fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Elissa offers graciously, and I feel a wave of gratitude towards her for covering for me.

“Well, at least nothing looks broken,” Greg snips. “Just watch where you’re going next time.”

“Of course,” replies Elissa, and thankfully, our manager disappears, leaving us to finish putting the cosmetics back on the display.

“Well?” nudges Elissa. I throw a couple of glances down the aisles, but all the customers seem to have gone back to shopping.

“Iamexhausted,” I confess, letting out a loud yawn.

“I can see that,” snorts Elissa. “But why? You haven’t been up all night spying on Brad and his sex dolls again, have you? You told me last time about what happened.”

“Not exactly…” I reply.

“Not exactly?” presses Elissa, her eyes going wide. “What does that mean?”

“It means I did something pretty crazy, and I’m not sure how I even pulled it off.”

“Girl, you better tell me what’s going on, or I’ll knock over your display again. And this time I’ll make sure something breaks!” she threatens.

“Okay, okay, fine” I relent, before taking a deep breath. “I may have substituted myself for one of Brad’s sex dolls. Again. It’s a long story, but it was amazing.” Elissa nearly knocks the display over again in shock, but I catch the table just in time to prevent another mess.

“Are you serious?” she gasps, her eyes wide with a mixture of shock, confusion, amusement, and admiration. “How? Why again? OMG, Chrissy. You have to tell meeverything.” I lower my voice and confess my shenanigans. I tell Elissa all about how I pulled the same trick once more, except this time, we engaged in hard-core backdoor action.

“You must be shitting me,” Elissa says in a low voice, her jaw practically on the ground. “No way.”

“Yes way,” I say. “It really happened.”

She scrunches her brow.

“But he knows it’s you, right? And not some sex doll?”

I shrug.

“I think so. Unless… he genuinely doesn’t know it’s me? I’m still not sure.”

Elissa stands up straight.

“Chrissy, ofcourseBrad knows it’s you! It would be insane if he really believed you were a piece of inanimate plastic, no matter how well you played your part.”

“Have you ever seen one of these sex dolls up close, though?” I ask. “They’re totally life-like. They have realistic skin and hair, as well as make-up, nails, and soft pussies and asses. I think there’s gel injected into their boobs and butts to make them even more like a real woman.” Then I lower my voice. “I heard some of the dolls even have a pussy sucking function.”

Elissa snorts.

“What’s that?”

I grin.

“Some of them have a motor in their private parts, and when you turn it on, their pussies supposedly swell and pulse like a woman having an orgasm. You know how some girls can supposedly milk a guy’s dick with their vaginas? I think that’s the sensation these pussy-sucking motors provide.”

“Holy shit!” Elissa snorts. “This is cray cray!”

“I know,” I agree. “That’s why I’m not sure Brad even knows it’s me.”

But at those words, my friend gives me a skeptical look.

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