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“Rich Burke,” she answered.
“Who on Echo Team?” he pushed.
“Why does this matter?”
“Just trying to help you identify your support system. Madison recruited you. I would think the two of you would have a bond, as she is a fellow female officer. I know she talked with you after you were put on probation. But you didn’t feel comfortable enough to divulge the reason you hadn’t submitted the coursework to her then.”
Even without him directly asking the question, she knew what Lassiter wanted to know. “Madison has been friendly enough, but she’s a captain and I’m a lieutenant. I understand and respect rank.”
“You do realize that doesn’t matter in this unit. Cooper’s enlisted, yet he’s number two in charge of the agency as well as one of Colonel Shepherd’s best friends. He’s also married to a captain.”
“Look, I’m an introvert, okay? And I had a life full of nasty girls stabbing me in the back in high school and college. At OCS, it was all I could do to get through what happened with West while completing the training. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to bond with anyone else in the program.”
Lassiter nodded. Honesty. He wished she’d been this forthcoming over the last year. She would have spared herself a lot of problems. She had been good at hiding her true feelings and emotions when he’d met with her each time. “The energy you expended just to get you through each day left no reserves for you to do anything, let alone form relationships.”
She nodded that he was correct. She was surprised that he understood.
“It had to be exhausting,” Lassiter said.
“I didn’t realize it at the time, but yes, it was.”
“And since you saw Harrison West’s name on Michael Cooper’s paperwork, did you feel the same way?”
Laura Lee stared at her water bottle. “At first, I felt panicked when I saw his name and signature. A week or so later, that panic numbed and then I spent a few weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do. I couldn’t let him see my name come across his desk, but I knew completing that coursework within a year was a condition of my employment.”
“But you said nothing to anyone.”
She nodded. “When I did that first stint in Ops and had the opportunity to access the FBI database of personnel, not only was my worst fear confirmed, but I also broke a rule that I was sure would get me fired. I couldn’t tell anyone. I thought I’d have more time to figure out what I was going to do when Shepherd put me on probation.”
“And still you said nothing.”
Laura Lee clasped her hands over her face, willing the tears to stay in her eyes. “I was afraid to tell anyone, afraid I’d be in trouble for accessing the database, afraid the crippling anxiety would come back to me if I told anyone what happened. It was humiliating, and I was stupid for putting myself in that position and a coward for not pressing charges against him. And I was selfish only thinking about me, not his potential future victims. I had these horrible dreams when I was on the painkillers in the hospital about that case in New Orleans, but the perp turned out to be West and the nightmares morphed into him doing the same thing he did to me to other girls over the last ten years, which I could have prevented if I’d spoken up.”
“I’m not sure how you can stand upright with that burden you’ve hefted onto your shoulders. You’re not responsible for any of that, you know. You were a victim of a violent, premeditated attack and blackmail scheme. And I can’t tell you that had you made a report against him, that it would have stuck. It could have gone down as he threatened it would. You did what you had to do at the time to survive, so you did the right thing. But now you have the chance to help other young women and to finally see that he is punished for his crimes.”
“If he’s still doing it,” she said. Her voice sounded defeated.
“You think he is by what you’ve found. And I believe you’re probably right. Abusers don’t stop abusing.”
“I know you’re right about being a victim. I just hope I can get some justice now.”
“Are you going to be okay working with Garcia?” Lassiter asked.
“Why would you ask that?” Laura Lee asked. Could he know how frightened she was of Garcia?
“He can be intimidating. I know you haven’t had much exposure to him. That’s why I brought it up.”
“Yes, he is intimidating,” she admitted.
“Caleb Smith admitted to me that his first impression of Garcia was that he was scarier than fuck.” Lassiter chuckled. “He confused his undercover persona with who he really is.” Lassiter knew it was more than that and that Garcia threw off a much darker vibe when he first joined the agency than he did now, but Laura Lee didn’t need to know that.
“Caleb counts him as a friend,” Laura Lee said.
“Yes,” Lassiter confirmed. “And he’s a dedicated and competent member of the team.”
Laura Lee nodded. She didn’t disagree with him, but she still wasn’t thrilled that she’d be working closely with the man. Why couldn’t Shepherd have assigned her to work with Caleb Smith?
Lassiter taught her some deep breathing and visualization techniques to use if a panic attack was building. And he made her promise that she would stay in contact with him as the case progressed and if she felt anxious or panicked.
