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“I just need to think.” Mallory allowed Monroe to pull her back against his chest, and after a few moments, Jac went to the office, and Sharlee put the CCTV videos on the wall so Mallory could stay deep in Monroe’s arms. Ryker went in search of Finley.
“I’ll watch so I can cue them up for you. Hang tight. It might take a bit of watching.” said Sharlee. Monroe smiled. She was picking up lingo from her hubby and the rest of the team.
Monroe spoke softly to his girl. “Mallory, we need to talk about this while Sharlee is looking for the right dates and times.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “I know this is surreal because I deal with things like this all the time. Thankfully, you don’t. The biggest hurdle for me, of course, is that I am determined to keep you safe. That being said, I want to be what you need me to be for you right now.”
“But I don’t know what I need. I’m so tangled up in knots, I have seconds when I feel panic returning as though I’m still trying to escape, but this time, I get shot trying to get out.” Monroe hugged her tighter.
“This is such a FUBAR that even if I wanted to fix it all for you, I couldn’t. And I don’t. I want you to be happy, carefree even, and that won’t happen until we finish this.”
“I don’t want to deal with anything. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it’s all over. Monroe, I don’t think I can do this alone.”
“Alone? What the fuck, baby? You aren’t alone. You won’t ever be truly alone again. Even if you are the only one in the house, you won’t be the only one in your life. You have everyone on my team backing you up. They have your back, and I have all of you.”
“I love that I feel so sheltered with you, and I freaking hate that I’m not the keeper of my life right now. I hate that. In all honesty, I don’t want to go home, go to work, or even buy my own groceries. I want a new life where none of this happened. I know I’ll have to work this out eventually, but I just don’t want to do that yet.”
“No,” Monroe’s tone darkened. “We have to work this out. Your more than capable man and his team, who are now your friends, are going to be right beside you. I suggest you ask Ivy, Sharlee, and Jessie just what happened in their lives when they had to call on their men and the team for help. The load was easier, and we solved the problem.”
She shook her head. “I don’t ask for help often or easily.”
Monroe put his knuckle under her chin and lifted. “Then it’s about time you learned. And it’s about time you understand that I am always going to be there for you. I’ll stand between you and any danger. Trust me on that.”
“I do. Will you take over and run my life? Just until I can do it myself again?”
“I’d do that in a heartbeat if you really want that.”
“Just until every little decision doesn’t feel like a life-changing event.”
“Are you serious?”
His finger was still under her chin, and he gazed deeply into her eyes. Mallory’s eyes showed her vulnerability, her pleading. She nodded, then shrugged.
“Yes?”
The lilt at the end of that one word made him ask again.
“Mallory, do you want me to take over all the decisions concerning this mess and all the things that seem so important until you can do it again?”
“Yes.” This time she said it in hushed tones while nodding her head, then snuggling back into his arms, leaning on his chest.
“Okay, then that’s how it will go until you don’t need it.”
Her body almost went limp in her giving over. She was such a transparent submissive, but that wasn’t really what was going on here. She wasn’t asking Monroe to take over in the bedroom because that was already in place. Mallory wanted someone to take the reins on the big stuff and the stuff that felt too large to handle. She was overwhelmed, and he could help with that.
Monroe was like Mallory in that he didn’t want that kind of lifestyle forever. He admired that she was typically confident in her everyday world. Dr. Mallory Sasse was a kickass pharmacist that cared about the people she filled prescriptions for.
He smiled at that last name and decided that when they got married, because he was determined they would, he would insist Mallory keep her maiden name because a last name of Sasse-Merton tickled his fancy… a lot.
Sharlee was still watching the feed she’d tapped into, and Mallory completely relaxed in his arms, her breaths coming evenly. She’d gone to sleep, and it sounded like a good plan. He closed his own eyes and made himself comfortable.
His baby hadn’t been able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time. Mallory thought he didn’t notice because he didn’t let her know, but he watched her as she lay awake several times each night, chasing her sleep. She seemed to rest best in his arms, and he fucking loved that. The team would neutralize the immediate threat. The rest would take time.
Monroe woke to his cell phone ringing. “Hello?”
“Mr. Merton?”
“Yes?” Mallory was awake now, watching him and running her hand slowly down his shirt and back up. “Who is this?”
His hand covered Mallory’s when she ran her fingers down a bit too far for his phone conversation to continue unimpeded.
