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I shook my head in disbelief. The entire event, from my comment to her reappearance didn’t take thirty seconds.
She frowned, “No likey?”
“Actually, I loved what you were wearing.”
As I paused she quickly turned toward the room.
“Stop!” I said sternly.
Having realized the military man in me was coming out, I softened my tone, “But I like what you’re wearing now more.”
“I love this hat. It keeps the creeps away,” she smiled as she turned and sauntered into the living room area.
“So, you paint?” I asked as I admired the numerous paintings.
“We’ve been over this already, Jak,” she snapped as she stepped over the back of the largest couch in the room.
I walked to the couch and lowered myself onto the cushion at the opposite end, “Well, I wasn’t sure if it was a hobby or a profession. I guess I still don’t know, but it appears you’re a very talented woman.”
She pressed her back into the arm of the couch and widened her eyes, “So is this how we’re going to do it now?”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
She raised her index finger and pulled down on her lower lip, “Me sitting on this end and you on the other. The only way we could be further apart is if you sat in the street. Do you want to sit in the street, Jak?”
I shrugged my shoulders lightly, “No, I…”
“Then scoot the fuck down here. Jesus, Jak. Did you forget what I said? I’m dying. D. Y. I. N. G.,” she released her lip and slumped into the lower cushion of the couch.
I smiled and stood from the end of the couch. As I stepped toward her she looked up, grinned, and batted her eyes repeatedly. As I walked her direction, I stared at her obsessively. Not watching where I was walking, I became tangled in newspapers which littered the floor in front of the couch and stumbled. I looked down at the pile of old papers and shook my head.
“Sorry, I read the obituaries. It’s the only part I read. I like knowing the names of people who die. I do it every morning when the paper comes,” she said as she kicked the newspapers aside.
I shook my head lightly as I stood over her and admired her beauty.
“I like it that you’re taller than me. I hate short guys. Actually I hate guys, period. All guys. I suppose we just as well go over this now,” she sighed.
I sat down beside her feet and turned to face her. Now almost lying flat on the couch, she raised her head and rested her cheek in her palm. Upon meeting a person, it’s difficult to know for certain if the actions and expressed personality of a person are genuine or an act. Without a doubt, sometimes it’s a combination of both. Strangely, I felt with Karter what I witnessed was exactly who she was. I cocked one eyebrow comically, “All guys? And go over what?”
She sat up slightly and pushed her feet under my right thigh, “Okay here’s the deal. I hate men. I always have. It hasn’t prevented me from being in relationships, but it’s prevented me from lasting for any period of time. All men are turds and I use them when I need to. Never for money and never for material things, but I’ve used a few for sex.”
“A woman has her sexual needs. I’ve fucked a handful of dudes and eventually they fuck me over. But don’t mistake what I’m telling you. I’m no slut, and I’m not an easy lay, Jak.” she paused and sat up a little more.
“Men have no depth. They have no appreciation. They want laid, and that’s it. I’m a complex person, Jak. I’m not high maintenance in a sense of fashion or finance, but my mind goes a million miles an hour and the world spins slowly. I can’t slow it down, I’ve tried. So, what you’re seeing? This girl covered in paint and wearing the Fuck Off hat? This is me. I’d be doing this and wearing these same clothes at some point in time if you weren’t here. I might do something eventually to piss you off, but I’ll never do anything intentionally to impress you. It’s not how I roll,” she hesitated and straightened her knees, pushing her feet further under my thigh.
“Well, I like it that…”
“I wasn’t done,” she said as she raised her index finger in the air.
“Fair enough,” I chuckled.
She rolled her eyes and lowered her hand to her chin.
“So I meet guys and eventually I settle for one and whatever. You know the deal. But I’ve never felt like they cared, or I cared, or that there was a real attachment. Nothing ever lasts longer than a few months. Maybe three. But in here,” she rubbed her hand from her waist to her neck.
“In here, I feel nothing. I never have. Not one time. Not fucking once. I’m not shitting you, Jak. Not one fucking time have I felt anything in here,” she continued to rub her hand up and down her torso.
I nodded my head and waited as patiently as I could for the rest of the story she planned to tell. What I hoped to hear was that she felt the same way I felt - an extremely strong attraction for merely having met someone and really knowing nothing about them. I struggled after we had eaten with whether or not it was simply a fascination, but settled on it truly being an attraction. I realized I preferred to be in Karter’s presence - and for me - having the desire alone was enough to cause me to believe it was an attraction.
