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“Well, that cup’s your heart, Jak. That’s what happens when someone busts you up good inside. You end up with a bunch of pieces you did your best with, and they make a heart, but it ain’t quite right. That fucker’d leak coffee on your trousers if you tried to fill her up. Now, to fix it, and it can be fixed; it sure can,” he paused and reached into his pocket.
He pulled out his lighter and lit the cigar. After a few short puffs, he blew a cloud of sweet smoke into the air and grinned, “You need one of them filler glues. The ones that go into each and every crack and crevice. That shit fills holes you can’t even see.”
He puffed on the cigar and blew another cloud of smoke in the air.
“Love Jak. Love is the filler glue. It’s why when you love someone, nothin’ else matters. Because the woman you’re in love with fills all of the broken parts inside of you, even the ones you don’t see.”
He shook his cigar at my face as he spoke, “When you think you love someone, and you ain’t sure, you got nothin’ more than a leaky old cup. That’s why you question the love. Because you got some pieces missin’ and some leaky holes. Me? I’m thinkin’ little ole Miss Karter’s done filled your holes right up. She’s filled your old busted heart with love, an’ you ain’t leakin’ anymore.”
I smiled and looked down at the broken cup. Oscar had an odd way of making his point, but he seemed to do so in a manner I would always be able to remember.
Oscar tapped the tip of the cigar against his lip and closed his eyes. At this point, I knew him well enough to know he was thinking about something, and he wasn’t quite done talking. As he opened his eyes, he puffed his cigar.
“Let me ask you a question, Jak. I know ain’t none of us lookin’ to get in a discussion about it, but I’ll make it’s as easy as a yes or no. You thought about the war since you an’ Miss Karter got together? You remembered any of the faces of them men ya killed, Jak?”
The three days before I met Karter were filled with doubt, regret, and feelings of worthlessness. I felt depressed and alone. Since meeting her, I had not thought about the war one single time. My thoughts, and my only thoughts, had been about her or our potential future together. Thoughts and feelings of her had filled me to the point there was no room for anything else.
“Haven’t thought about it once,” I responded.
He turned to face his work bench and blew a cloud of smoke into the air, “Go climb that tree Jak.”
“Thanks Oscar. I’ll be seeing you.”
Not if I see you first.
“Not if I see you first,” he laughed.
