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“What letters?” I asked
“The letters, Jak. Don’t be stupid. I wrote you for a year. You never responded. Maybe once a month for a while, then I wrote once a week for a few months. I never heard from you,” she reached toward her cheek and wiped a tear from her face.
“I didn’t read any of my letters. Not a one, Shell. I tossed them out. To be honest, I completed the training not so much for me, but for Graham. At least that’s what I told myself. I felt if I had any influence from the real world, or felt any of the emotion from all of this, I wouldn’t make it through the training. For me, failure wasn’t an option. It would have been like I was letting Graham down. He wanted me to be a SEAL as bad as I wanted it. So if you wrote me, I’m sorry. I never read them,” I said shamefully.
I truly began to feel sorry for Shelley. More than twenty years had passed and she was still in the same place mentally as she was when I left. Regardless, I needed answers. No matter what her response was, I was quite certain considering all things I’d never see her again. She hated me anyway, and I was ready to bring this visit to a close.
“I heard you had a daughter,” I said softly as I turned toward the door.
Her face covered with wonder, she responded, “Who told you that? I thought you didn’t read the letters?”
“I didn’t Shell. I saw a guy in town, Little Petey. He said you had a daughter. What’s your daughter’s name, Shell?” I asked over my shoulder as I approached the door.
“Her name’s Karter, Jak. She changed her last name,” she said angrily.
Facing the door, I heard her begin to cry. As I stood and contemplated leaving, she said one more thing. One single thing that changed everything, “Jak she’s our daughter.”
My heart sank. My head spun. This couldn’t be. She was twenty-one. I was thirty-eight. I wouldn’t be thirty-nine for another five months. I joined the Navy when I was I was seventeen, in January 1993. Karter’s age made it almost impossible for her to be…
Fuck.
It was possible. It was probable. It began to make sense. I turned to face Shell. I felt hot. I began to shiver. I turned toward the doorway. My stomach convulsed.
“Yeah, Jak. You have a daughter.”
And I vomited.
