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26
KARTER. I’d used the microfiche machine at the library many times. I had tried to find out about my father when I was young by reading old newspapers on it in the library. Potwin, Kansas has no newspaper, and the news in Potwin wasn’t of much interest to the people in Wichita, so there was nothing for me to find out about my mother or really anything regarding the small town I was from.
As I frantically searched though the film, I came across the June 6th newspaper and found nothing. It was a Sunday. As I moved to the film to the next day, the front page of the Local/State section stopped me from looking any further. A photo of the scene of the accident sent chills down my spine.
Two police officers stood beside a truck. The photo was of the old Kellogg Avenue. One officer stood in front of the truck and one beside it. The caption above the photo read Drunken Driver Drags Man to His Death. It wasn’t the caption that caught my attention, it was the truck in the photo.
It was Jak’s truck.
Holy mother of all things sacred.
Jak was still driving his father’s truck. He had told me he used to drive the same truck in high school. Although he never spoke of his father, I knew he had died when Jak was young. His mother described how much she loved him, and Jak explained how he grew up without a father, but I never knew what happened for sure. And Jak never offered. Now I knew.
Bill killed Jak’s father.
I sat at the machine and cried. I cried for Jak, for his mother, and for Bill. The thought of something happening so quickly, and how it could change the lives of so many people became very heavy in my chest. I sat and stared at the article on the screen blankly, not even caring to read any further.
As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I realized although I had solved a mystery of sorts about Jak’s childhood, his past, and the death of his father, I could never share my findings with Jak. Keeping a secret from him wasn’t something I really wanted to do, and even lying about my mother made me extremely uncomfortable. After much consideration and thought, I decided some things need to be kept secret to prevent further harm to those the secrets are kept from. When Jak was ready to tell me, he would. If he didn’t, I’d take this knowledge with me to my grave.
Without removing the film from the machine, I stood and wiped my eyes. I left the light switch turned on and the article about Jak’s father’s death on the screen of the monitor. As I walked away, I did so with hope. Hope someone else would read the article and gain from it. If one drunken person took a taxi home instead of driving as a result of reading the article, the world would be a better place.
A much better place.
