AllFreeNovel
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I push a slice of turkey around on my plate, letting the gravy soak into it as it crashes into the mountain of stuffing I asked for. I always offer to take extra shifts on Thanksgiving because it's easier than sitting home remembering I don't have a home to go visit for the holiday. Plus, Thanksgiving at the hospital is one of my favorite holidays. It's like Halloween falling on a Friday the thirteenth with the mayhem of people trying to deep fry their turkey, uncle Joe slicing his hand open because he had too much spiked cider, and the occasional foot that got run over by an angry cousin speeding out of the driveway. It's always busy and makes the time go even faster.
"We talked about this, Dare. Our friendship only works because you accept my rules and don't ask dumb questions about them. You're kinda violating the terms of our friendship right now."
He shoots me a smile and I can't help but be a little annoyed that he doesn't understand why I want to keep boundaries between myself and whoever lives with me. I became friends with Delaney but it wasn't forced, it happened naturally, but I don't have the same hope or expectation for the next person who moves in.
"Kill me for wanting to make sure you get someone in there. I feel shitty that Dee is leaving you after only a few months." He says it like he had any clue that Delaney would reunite with her high school sweetheart and that they would rekindle their old relationship.
"I'm not desperate enough to post about it at work yet, so drop it." I raise my eyebrows at him, hoping the firmness in my tone accompanied with the glare I am giving him breaks his line of questioning.
"Alright, I get it, I'm dropping it." Darren says as his phone chimes on the table next to his plate.
"Who is texting you at two AM?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Oh, Ella downloaded this new horoscope app on my phone. She thinks that somehow the stars aligned to get us to meet so she is ... encouraging me to pay more attention to what it says. Apparently my new horoscope for today is available." Darren met his girlfriend, Ella, on a plane to Costa Rica and they are seriously adorable together. Her bouncing personality mixed with his stoic military aura balances perfectly.
"You're a Capricorn right?" He asks and I already know what is coming next. I nod before scooping a bite of my food into my mouth.
"Alright, this is yours:"
Today is one of those days in which if you want love, you need to go out and get it, Capricorn. Don't waste your time sitting at home and sulking. Be adventuresome and take that first step. You're the only one who can pull yourself out of the rut, so do it. There is a great deal of passion behind your romantic intentions at this time, Cupid, so be careful where you point your arrow.
He flashes me a knowing smile and I hate that I ever told him that Andrew and I were hooking up.
"First of all, I don't sulk. Second of all, it's not my fault I am in a rut!"
Darren holds up his hands in surrender before laughing at my expense.
"That's it, no more talking. Let a girl eat her Thanksgiving dinner in peace." I joke with him, trying my best to mask the empty feeling this day brings.
We continue eating in silence, the savory meal making me feel sluggish. I check my watch to see how much time is left in my break. Twelve minutes. That might be enough time for me to go see if Andrew is here. Our schedules haven't been aligning for the past few weeks and after my mishap at the club last night, I am even more desperate for an orgasm. I silently hope that his cases tonight don't require surgery so I can get him alone for a bit in one of the on-call rooms.
I know it seems a little backward looking for hookups at the hospital if I won't let someone who works here live under my roof, but the reasoning is solid.
Orgasms of convenience.
If I'm not getting orgasms from the person that I live with, it makes sense to get them from the people I see most outside of that. Arguably, I see people at work more than whoever is serving as my roommate, but that only heightens the validity of my argument. I know the staff here well, after being placed here for my final school requirement for graduation and then being hired here right out of school. I have been here for years.
Not to mention it's not like I am looking for an actual relationship. Casual sex is easy enough when neither of you has the time or energy to take things any further than that. Scratch the itch and part ways. Simple.
I find Andrew standing at the raised counter of the nurses station on the fifth floor, nose down in a chart with a serious scowl creasing his brow. It should be illegal for a man to be brilliant and handsome, it makes them too in demand for the female population. Add in that he knows his way around a clitoris and he's officially a triple threat.
"Hey stranger, long time no see," I approach him, planting my elbow on the desk next to him. His eyes slowly raise to meet mine and I can see distance in his deep chocolate irises. Something isn't right and I am kicking myself for hoping he had easy cases today.
"Can I talk to you ..." Andrew pauses, lowering his head to make it harder for others to hear him. "Privately?" He glances around to ensure there is no one else listening in. Why is he acting so suspicious? It's not against hospital policy to have relations with each other as long as the parties involved aren’t directly in charge of each other. I made sure to memorize the rule before pursuing anything with him.
"Of course, doctor." I reply in my professional tone, following his lead down the hall towards the on-call room that we often frequent for a pick-me-up in the middle of the night shift when most of the patients are asleep and there isn't much else to do.
When the door clicks behind me, I raise on my tiptoes to reach his mouth, kissing him with enough enthusiasm to alert him that I can tell he needs this, possibly more than I do. What better to take your mind off the bullshit of the day than an orgasm? I should know, it's my antidepressant of choice.
"Mel, I can't." Andrew grips my shoulders firmly, pushing me back away from him, my feet lowering from toe to flat.
"I can see that you need a release, I am here for you." I purr, my hands starting to untie the knot in my scrubs before reaching for his.
"No, Mel. I literally can't ... I'm seeing someone." There are few things that can ruin a casual hookup. The first: they catch feelings for you and the feelings aren't mutual. The second: they catch feelings for someone else and kick you to the curb. I am in option two territory right now and it's not my favorite place to be.
"I mean, is it serious? We use protection, I don't care if you're hooking up with someone else," I rush out the words, trying to hold on to the last hope of keeping Andrew. I guess keep isn't the right word. It's not like he is mine or something, it's just sex and nothing more. I can't give him anything more than that and he knows that. But losing him feels like more, like I'm a fish caught on a hook thrashing in the water desperate to get the worm, to drag it back into the depths of the ocean. Except the worm is fake and I am being pulled to the surface.
"It's serious enough that I don't feel right hooking up with you anymore. It's been fun, I am just ready for something different. We knew this wasn't forever or anything, you made that clear when it started. I'm just ready for something different, I'm too old to still be having casual hookups in the on-call. I'm not an intern anymore. It's nothing you did Mel, you know the sex has been amazing."
