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"Don't be ridiculous ... I have the advantage of knowing you since before you were a teenager, that gives me a special privilege to call you something embarrassing whether you like it or not." She flashes me a mischievous look.
"Wow you're making yourself sound old considering I am on the last leg of my teenage years right now." I play, knowing she is only a few years older than me.
Delaney rolls her eyes at me and we both break into laughter.
"When you can have your first legal drink, then I think I will feel old."
"Whatever, old lady. So I have the agreement thing from Melanie. She's a little particular, huh?" I ask, pulling the folded papers from my back pocket. She gives me a worried look, like the papers are null and void if I fold them.
"What?"
"Nothing. Did you decide to sign? She can be a lot but she means well and is a good roommate. But yes, she likes things done her way. It won't hurt you to go along with it, I promise."
I take another minute to consider, as if I have any other option to weigh against it. I unfold the papers, flattening them on the small counter across from Delaney as best I can with my hands.
"You got a pen?"
"Be nice to her okay? Don't make me regret suggesting you for this."
"You won't regret this, and neither will she. I promise I will be on my best behavior."
The pen glides against the wrinkled paper, the illegible letters in my name filling the signature line. This will be good for me, I know it.
My alarm goes off exactly three hours before my shift starts at the hospital. I don't believe in the snooze button, knowing that it will interrupt any extra sleep anyways, so what is the point? I know that three hours is the perfect window of time to allow me to get enough sleep while also giving me time to wake up and fulfill my other needs before leaving for work again. First thing on the list is a shower.
I turn the dial to point at the O in HOT, the sweet spot for my ideal water temperature. Today is Sunday, which is not a hair washing day. I pile my mahogany hair into a bun on my head to keep it from getting too wet. I dispense one pump of body wash onto my hand and begin running it in clockwise circles against my skin, starting with the cleanest parts of my body like my stomach and chest, before ending with my underarms and running it between my legs lightly. The water is running clear before long, all of the remaining soap rinsed from my body and leaving my skin smooth and hydrated. I usually shave on Sunday's since I don't wash my hair I have extra time in the shower, except not today. After my night out on Wednesday that ended in disaster, I am straying from my normal schedule a bit to give my body more recovery time.
The walk home that night was a struggle, the burning between my legs not stopping until I got home and submerged myself into a bath. I hate baths. The idea of soaking in my own dirty water grosses me out, but I had to really rinse the area and that was the easiest way to do it considering I was still a bit tipsy. You would think that the brisk walk home or the fire on my labia would have sobered me up, but once that adrenaline wore off as I got home, the alcohol took hold. And the worst part? The bath didn't even really help. After I got out, the burning continued. I know how to ease a spicy tongue but not spicy lips, especially when they are the ones below the belt. The female pH is not to be messed with and all of the remedies I could find involved acidic foods that I was not willing to introduce to my vagina biome.
I'm not proud of what I did next, but I was at a loss for how to put out the fire and I needed sleep. I slathered my vagina with plain Greek yogurt. After too much Googling, it was the best option that I could find that was still in the acidic range to subdue the heat, while not feeling like it would introduce unnecessary bacteria. It was by far one of the strangest things that I have ever done, and being an emergency room nurse, that says a lot. But it was either that or calling another medical professional for a second opinion and I was definitely not doing that. Plus, I know that Greek yogurt is a natural antidote for most pH issues in the female body, and since it's in the same dairy family as the recommended cures for spicy foods, the crossover just felt like it made sense.
Needless to say, it didn't cause any crazy pH issues and my clitoris is finally done being enraged and swollen. I am now up to fifteen days without an orgasm since I haven't been able to bring myself to even touch it. I feel wound tighter than a fishing line on a lure being pulled under the surface, ready to snap at any moment.
I let myself air dry, using the time in the bathroom to brush my teeth and apply my skincare. The vanity looks barren without Delaney's products scattered across the counter. I wonder if this Ashton guy has a lot of hair products or whatever it is that guys use in the bathroom. I have never lived with a man so I have no clue what to expect. The thought of the unknown is a struggle, but I am trying to stay open minded that it will be a good fit. I trust Delaney and her judgement, she wouldn't recommend someone that I would hate or butt heads with. Her and I started living together when Darren asked if I would take in his baby sister since she was moving into the city. She understood my rules - both the restrictions and requests. The best part was that she didn't care either way, always a ray of sunshine when I did see her and happy to have a place to stay near her new flower shop.
Besides, some guys like when women take control right? Maybe this guy will be thankful for so many rules, taking all the guesswork out of how to cohabitate with me. I took the liberty of printing a copy of my agreement from when Delaney and I moved in together, with the only addition being the sex rule. Women living together have a certain assumed respect level about their partners coming in and out. A man, I imagine, is unaware of those boundaries so it was important for me to make it clear from the very beginning.
He won't have to worry about me bringing anyone home. I make it a point to keep my bed solely for sleeping. Alone. Any fraternization is done elsewhere - the on-call room at the hospital, the backseat of a car, the bathroom at Galactic. But never in my own bed, in my own home. This is my sacred place, a place for me to be alone with my thoughts and keep my mind straight. The last thing it needs is male energy clogging it up. Maybe I should have added in an addendum to the agreement about my new roommate not being allowed in my room, but I think that should be pretty obvious. Then again, you never know what kind of person you are dealing with. Shit, it is too late to get an updated version printed and to Delaney? Maybe I can ask him to review it when he moves in later this week.
My stomach fills with something heavy - like a lead weight holding the pier in place - but I know it's dread. Living with someone I have never met before is suddenly becoming my reality and I'm not sure that I can handle the unknown of it all.
Breathe Melanie. You can do this.
You are smart.
You are capable.
And most of all, you are hardworking so you probably won't ever see him anyways.
I pull on the soft cotton of my burgundy scrubs, tying them tight around my waist. I sit on the bench at the end of my bed, pulling on my muted grey socks, the hem of my scrub pants barely brushing the tops of my feet. I don't like the bottom of my pants to get wet if I am walking in the rain or something like that, so I make sure they don't hang low enough to touch the ground. I slide my feet into my slippers and walk out of my bedroom into the living room, making my way towards the kitchen.
The coffee maker roars to life while it works to heat the water inside. I pull a frozen breakfast sandwich out of its wrapper and pop it into the toaster oven to warm. Even though it's the middle of the afternoon, I pull open all the shades to let in some natural light. I will close them again before I leave for work, knowing that Delaney won't be back tonight. And I will leave the light on over the stove to make it look like someone is home. Plus, it helps me make sure I don't trip over myself when I come home early tomorrow morning exhausted and uncoordinated.
The ding from the toaster oven timer and the beep from the coffee maker ring out in perfectly timed harmony, a rare occurrence that always makes me feel like I am being set up for a perfect day. I hold the warm cup in my hands for a long moment, inhaling the bitter scent of coffee that wakes up the rest of my senses before I even take a sip. People who survive without coffee are little energetic aliens, making their own energy just by living, as if they have solar panels built into their skulls or something.
I don't bother putting my breakfast sandwich onto a plate - too much effort to clean it before I leave - so I place it onto a paper towel before sitting down at the dining room table. It's not great, but it's better than trying to cook something myself. Eating breakfast in the middle of the afternoon seems off until you consider that this is my morning, according to my own internal clock. This is usually the only meal I eat at home, the other two covered by my shift and the cafeteria serving food that doesn't require me to grocery shop or do any sort of meal planning. If you saw inside my fridge, you would question if anyone lives here at all. Especially now that Delaney took all her food to Colton's place. The only things that remain are a bottle of ketchup that is half full, an expired bottle of Italian salad dressing, and a few packets of mild sauce from Taco Bell. Oh, and a stick of butter with three random eggs that aren't even in a carton. I should add cleaning out the fridge to my list of chores to complete before Ashton moves in - especially since it should take all but twelve seconds - and I am definitely due to wipe down the shelves inside.
All that is left before I head to the hospital is to read a chapter in the latest novel I checked out from the library. This week, it is a fantasy romance novel with boys that have big wings and even bigger egos. I enjoy getting lost in an alternate reality and reading helps keep my mind fresh. I can see things from a different lens by keeping my mind sharp, a very important trait to have when working in an emergency room where things are not always as they seem. Granted, none of the scenarios I have encountered at the hospital have involved high fae princes whisking me away to a far off secret city, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared for anything.
