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Our heads hang as we file back to the table, exchanging apologies with Delaney as we go. She giggles under her breath, her hand trying to muffle the sound but we can all hear her amusement at us being scolded. The room is quiet, except the sound of chairs being dragged against the wooden floor.
"Who got the smallest piece?" Ashton is the first to chime in, the baby of the family, the one with the biggest balls.
"I would like to go first ... if you don't mind Mrs. Reeve." Delaney says softly to my mother, who gives her a megawatt smile before adding a simple nod.
"My family doesn't really do this so hopefully I'm doing it right." She takes a short pause, her throat bobbing as she swallows, building up herself to keep going. I reach over and wrap her hand in mine, giving it a light squeeze to tell her I am here for her. "This year, I am thankful for all of you taking me into your home and letting me crash your Thanksgiving. Please don't ever change, I love the quirky traditions. Today has been perfect. I can feel the love radiating from your family and I am soglad I got to be a part of it. So cheers," Delaney picks up her drink and raises it in front of her. We don't typically cheer after sharing what we are thankful for, but we all follow her lead. "To family. To friends. And to friends who become family. Happy Thanksgiving."
We all take turns tapping our cups together with each other, the clinking bouncing around the room as an echo.
"I don't think any of us can say it better than that," Dad says, looking to all of us to see if we will object. We all stay silent. "In that case, bon appétit."
"Let's eat," the Reeve clan all say in unison, our meaty hands grabbing for whatever dish is in front of us and scooping portions that could feed a small family onto our plates. I hold the stuffing bowl towards Delaney, offering it to her before my brothers get ahold of it. Our fingertips brush as the dish is passed between us and our eyes lock together. 'I love you' I mouth, a silent confession of how thankful I am for her. Her cheeks fill with a smile and it quite possibly be the thing I am most thankful for this year.
For all the moments we have shared together, learning and growing, navigating our first relationship and how we fit into that. Delaney has been backing away from me a bit lately and I know it has to do with her mom getting sick. Inviting her to Thanksgiving was the best way I could think of to give her a break from the stress at home and let loose a little. If there's someone that can make you forget your problems, it's my crazy family and Mom's home cooking.
"Hey." A familiar deep timbre floats to me from inside the shop. What the hell? I didn't know anyone else was here.
I turn slowly, doing my best not to slosh the alcohol still floating around in my head. I must look confused because Colton is quick to explain his presence.
"I, umm, came to grab my sweatshirt. If you have it here, I mean." It's weird to see him acting shy today after he was anything but when he had his hand on me at the club last night. It radiates innocence and my eyes see the sweet teenager that was so nervous to hold my hand on our first date.
"Yeah, it's out back in my office. I will go grab it for you." I move towards the hallway out back, my body still moving at a slow pace, the hangover strong and the tea not strong enough to get rid of it.
Don't follow me, Colt, this isn't the time for us to hash out whatever we need to. And the last thing I want to talk to you about right now is my indecent exposure in front of you.
Myfingers drift along the soft cotton of his sweatshirt, wishing he would have forgotten and given me one more night to cozy up with it. The way the worn fabric kissed against my skin, the warmth mimicking how my body heats whenever he is around, the drape of the oversized fit engulfing me like a hug from his long arms. Snap out of it, Delaney, it's only a sweatshirt.
I pick it up off the table, finally convincing myself that I have to return it to him, but when I go to leave my office, I hit a hard chest. Of course he didn't just stay put.
"Sorry, I figured you wanted me to follow you." His words hit differently, like they are laced with an underlying tone that has nothing to do with this moment. The confessions hang heavy in the air like humidity after a summer storm. Our bodies are touching in a few places: toe to toe, my hands grasping his sweatshirt that is now against his chest, my knees bent just enough that they graze his shin.
I have always wanted you, Colt, that's the problem isn't it? I pushed you away only to be mad when you left.
"Here you go." I take half a step back, shoving his sweatshirt towards him. The sleeve of the neatly folded item comes untucked with the force. "I didn't have a chance to wash it, but I swear I didn't puke on it or anything." My cheeks lift into a smile, putting on my best face that says we can be friends. Our history doesn't define our future. Begging him for forgiveness that he doesn't know I don't deserve.
"Thanks. I need to wash it anyway. It probably smells like grass and cigarettes. I wear it after our golfing sessions at the country club. Ashton insists on smoking to make himself seem older."
"Wow, the Reeve brothers golf now? I didn'tsee that coming. Tell Ash that shit will kill him and if he doesn't quit, I will kill him, too."
We stare at each other for a long moment, the familiarity making it hard to remember why we can't do this. Why is our comfortable history the last thing we should be craving?
"Have you heard from Carina this morning? How is she feeling?" I break the silence and the questions burn the tip of my tongue. It's not Carina that's the problem, it's knowing that she wants Colton that lights a fire in my belly.
His eyebrows pinch towards his nose, no doubt trying to determine why I would ask.Because she's my friend and the one you should be more worried about than me.It's clear that he hasn't spoken to her and based on the way his eyes are analyzing mine, I'm not sure that he plans to.
"I ... " He starts his sentence, breaking our gaze and aiming his eyes to the floor as if he can't say the next part while looking me in the eye.
"Carnations are her favorite. I will put together a bouquet for you to take to her. And before you say some bullshit that you aren't thinking through, you need to go see her. Make sure that she's alright and give that relationship a chance. We can't get involved, Colt, not when other people are waiting in the wings to get their hearts broken."
"It was two dates, Laney, I would hardly call that heartbreak worthy." His tone is louder now, the frustration piercing through my armor, breaking my resolve to keep this distance between us. We have already gotten too close physically, I can't let it get emotional, too.
"You don't know her like I do. When she falls, she falls with everything she has. She is ready to love you, to give you everything you need."
"And you? You're not?" Colton takes a step closer, closing the already small gap between us.
The truth is that I have no clue if I am ready to open myself up to him like that again. I can't bear the idea of hurting him again, and I don't trust myself enough to guarantee it won't happen. He doesn't know the whole story and the more tangled in each other we get, the harder it will be to keep it buried.
"No."
