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“That’s easily managed nowadays,” she said. “Why are you calling?”
“I want to see you, that’s why. Do you want to come to my new place? Oh, another thing, I’m not big on outings.”
“You’re also saying you’re a homebody.”
“Pretty much.”
“I can deal with that. I’m tired a lot. I work long hours, and since I’m single, I work a lot. When I’m off, I like to hang out.”
“We’re perfect for each other, then. I’ll send you my address, okay? Come when you want. I need to run to the store, but I won’t be gone long.”
“How about three?” she asked.
“Three is great. Any requests from the store?”
“A bloody steak and baked potato.”
“Wow, we’re twins,” he said, snickering. “Lisa was trying to make me eat chicken.”
“I just remembered how I met you, in the ER,” Betsy said. “Maybe steak isn’t such a good idea. The doctor suggested you lay off red meat.”
“I haven’t had any red meat since then. One steak won’t kill me.”
“I hope not,” she said. “I’ll bring dessert.”
“I’ll get it. Bring an overnight bag.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I have three bedrooms,” Ryan said, barking out a laugh. “You can take your pick.”
“Oh, okay. I will, then! I need a weekend away.”
They chatted a while longer, and when the call ended, Ryan prepared to head to the store. Looking around the apartment, he realized he needed to bring his paints over. He’d do that later. He was worried about seeing the kids. Maybe he didn’t need to see them yet.
Ryan wasn’t sure if it was guilt that made him feel that way, and after thinking about it, he realized it was fear. He was scared the kids would be angry at him. Pangs of regret washed over him. A sick feeling settled in his stomach.
How could he just walk out on Lisa and the kids? Then he thought of Betsy. Maybe one good fuck with Betsy would erase all the guilt and regret. He was going to give it a try. Lust was stronger than remorse.
Putting Lisa and the kids out of his mind, he grabbed his wallet and left the apartment. The drive to the grocery store didn’t feel right, but he tried to reason it out, thinking it might be because it was something he hadn’t done for himself in a long, long time.
He drove up and down the aisles of the parking lot, not wanting to run into anyone he knew there, and the last time he’d gone with Lisa, they had seen everyone who lived on Sea View. But there weren’t any familiar cars, thankfully.
Ryan ran into the store and loaded a shopping cart with his favorite cereal and fruit. It was different not thinking of anyone but himself. Lisa never went into the store without dozens of items on her list, all for other people. He wondered for a moment if she’d ever just shopped for herself.
“Don’t think of that!”
He shook his head, pushing the cart toward the meat department, where he got the biggest, fattiest steaks he could find. In the bakery, he got cake and pie, donuts, cream puffs, and eclairs. He avoided the deli department in case Pam’s sister, Mary, was there and would ask questions. He’d make his own salads and other side dishes.
Done shopping, he loaded the car and headed back home. It wasn’t until he was driving down Sea View that he remembered he didn’t live there anymore.
Pam was in the front yard, taking down fall decorations, when she saw Ryan pass by. She walked to the curb and saw him make a right turn at the corner, so he wasn’t stopping. A mix of disgust and sadness passed over her. How many of his shenanigans were because of her? It made her sick that she could betray her own daughter like she had.
Back up at the house, she finished up. Next she’d do Christmas. This would be the earliest she’d ever put updecorations, but it was because of many factors, including Dan asking her for her hand in marriage, and the drudgery of them being together under the same roof.
Pam hauled the boxes into the garage. She’d get the handyman to return them to the rafters later. In the meantime, she wanted to cook for Dan. She’d already told Hocus to take the night off. The freezer was packed with food, and Pam would fix steak for dinner.
Puttering around her kitchen felt good for a change, reminding her of the old days when feeding her family had been the primary focus of her life. No one had appreciated it, and a home-cooked meal hadn’t kept her husband from straying. The ridiculous thought made her laugh. What in the hell was she thinking?
