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“I can’t hang around the apartment all day with nothing to do.”
“I guess asking if the girls could come over Wednesday is a no.”
“They can come. I haven’t even talked to Peter yet. Still contemplating it. If I give up my disability, I’ll never get it back.”
“It’s something to consider,” she said, wondering if his thinking was that there would be more babes in Manhattan than Babylon. “So, you’ll commute or work remotely?”
“There’s nothing remote to do there. I’m going to ask your mother if I can have Jack’s apartment.”
Jack’s Madison Avenue apartment had been his lair during his marriage to Pam. He’d stayed in the city during the week, leaving her home alone with her children. It appeared Ryan was hoping to duplicate that lifestyle.
Rage filled Lisa’s lungs, and it took every bit of self-control she had not to throw a large Diet Coke with ice in his face. She’d tell Pam that if she helped Ryan, she’d never forgive her.
“You certainly made a lot of plans in three short days, plus while entertaining.”
“I got a tree up for the kids,” he said, changing the subject. “I was going to ask if they could help me decorate it this weekend. I’ll need decorations.”
“You can have whatever you want. I want more meaningful decoration this year. More Star in the East, less Mickey Mouse and Spider Man.”
“Great! My tree will be the cool tree, then.”
“And mine will be the one with the meaning of Christmas.” Lisa reached for burger wrappers and cardboard French fry envelopes.
“Lisa, seriously,” Ryan said, his head cocked to the side. “I didn’t notice how fragile you’re looking.”
“You must be talking to Alison,” Lisa grumbled.
“She’s concerned,” Ryan admitted.
“Yeah, it’s none of your goddamned business!” Lisa yelled. “You got that? You left, and that ended your right to comment about my appearance. Get outside, will you?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll just grab my boots.” He went to the coat closet behind the kitchen and came back a minute later with his snow gear.
“The plastic saucers are in the shed,” Lisa said.
“Right. I’ll get them out.”
She walked to the sunroom at the front of the cottage to watch. There was already a froth of frozen mush along the edge of the surf. Despite hearing the joy in her children’s cries, a sadness deeper than anything she’d ever felt, deeper than when her first husband had died or when Dan had left her, penetrated her heart.
Ryan was the love of her life. And somehow, she had to move beyond it. She couldn’t allow Ryan to do to her what Jack had done to Pam. Looking away was not an option for her. She had refused, and this was the result.
“They still have homework,” Daniela said, entering the room.
“Okay.” The sun had gone down, and everyone was cold. Lisa went to the door and called out, “Time to come in, kiddos.”
Luckily, Andy had come out to see Brent and stood on the beach, chatting with Ryan, keeping him busy. The children came in to get ready for another school day.
“I’ll take Diana across the street,” Daniela said.
Lisa helped everyone get their snow clothes off and hung up, and by the time she’d directed them to get washed up so they could do homework, Ryan left without saying goodbye. Deep sadness swept over her again. How many times could that adrenaline rush fill her bloodstream before it killed her?
The older children had their pajamas on and were getting settled for the evening when Lisa noticed Daniela hadn’t returned. She called Fredericka.
“She left ten minutes ago,” Fredericka said.
Grabbing a jacket off the hall tree, Lisa went out the side door, and then she heard a feeble cry. “Help!”
She ran out the side gate to the front of the cottage, and there was Daniela, lying in the street.
