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“Just be honest, for God’s sake. You don’t want to be part of the family. If you still love them, you can say that, but don’t blow smoke up their asses, Ryan. They’ll keep waiting for you if you give them hope that you’re coming back.”
“Lisa, you’re kind of being a bitch right now.”
“Yeah, well, tough shit. Put yourself in my shoes, okay?”
Glaring at her, Ryan suddenly felt awful. The excitement of leaving had diminished. She was right, of course. He was selfish. And he couldn’t be honest with a bunch of children who were effectively the reason he felt like he was suffocating.
He turned away from Lisa. She was right, as usual, but he was going to leave, regardless. In the kitchen, at the key rack, the next dilemma presented itself. What car was he going to take? They had SUVs and a Sprinter van. He looked over at the pile of his suitcases and belongings.
Getting out his phone, he sent Lisa a text.What car can I take?
She wrote right back.The Highlander.
It was the oldest car they had, one they referred to as the nanny car, and now Ryan was stuck with it. But he knew why—Lisa had purchased the cars with her own money. Maybe he’d try to save for a nicer car.
Okay, thanks,he answered, sneering at the key in his hand. He should have just taken one of the other cars. Then he thought of Pam. She had a three-car garage full of cars, and cars stored in a garage in town. Replacing the key on the rack, he grabbed a jacket and left the cottage, running around to the front to take the street to Pam’s house.
After he knocked for a minute, she finally answered. She was dressed in athletic wear for the gym.
“Wow, you look like a different person,” she said, pointing to his styled hair and clean shave.
“Yeah, it was time to clean up my act.”
“Why are you at the front door?” she asked. “I’m used to you coming around the back.”
“I didn’t want to get all sandy. I’m moving out today.”
“What are you talking about, Ryan? You can’t do that to Lisa. You have five children who love you.”
“I only have two. And I have one at Alison’s that I neglect because Lisa’s brood sucks the life out of me.” Ryan looked over her shoulder. “Where’s Dan, anyway?”
“At the office, where most men are at ten in the morning.”
“Ouch. That was kind of cruel, Pam, especially from you. And it’s Saturday. Why’s he there today?”
“I can’t believe you are really going to hurt your family like this, Ryan. What brought it on? I must be blind because I didn’t see this happening.”
She didn’t move aside for him to come through.
“I’m sick of the family scene,” he said, truthful for the first time. “I’m tired of thepretendbig happy family. Counting Miranda, there are six children in that tiny house. I’m expected to pretend I love them, and I don’t even know most of them.”
“Because you’re too preoccupied to make the effort, Ryan.”
This was going badly. He had come to ask for something, and she was admonishing him instead. Pam had never given Ryan a hard time. Just the opposite. They had been on the verge of getting intimate just a few months before and then, fortunately, the heat between them had petered out. Now he was sorry he hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity when it was presented to him. She had been more than willing at the time. And he could have blackmailed her into getting what he wanted now.
“You’re acting like you’re angry with me,” he said. “I didn’t do anything to you. We had a special relationship, Pam. You destroyed the possibilities when you invited Dan to move in.”
“Why are you bringing that up now?” she asked, looking frightened.
He let his mind wander, remembering how soft her skin was. “Are you going to invite me in?”
“Why?”
“I have a favor to ask,” Ryan said. “I’m not going to attack you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”Or hoping for, he thought.
“Don’t be repulsive,” she snapped, her nostrils flaring.
“I wanted to know if I could borrow Dad’s car. Jack’s Lexus.”
