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Kat didn’t say anything. She stood with her back to me in tight dark jeans and a red, short-sleeve blouse wrenching the top off a bottle of pop. Distracted as I had been momentarily by the joy of seeing her, and that tight, pretty ass, I only belatedly took in the set of her shoulders, the tensionin her body and the irritation rolling off her in waves. Bad mood surrounded her like a dark aura.
Time slowed down, and for an instant it wasn’t Kat I was seeing in the kitchen, but Abbie. My head suddenly felt light and I had to grab hold of the doorframe so I wouldn’t keel over.
“Roy?” Her voice sounded hollow, as if it was coming from far away. “Roy?” she repeated, my name echoing weirdly in the air around me. Then arms wrapped around my waist, and unable to move me, pulled a smaller body to mine. Something came to rest over my heart, spreading warmth through my chest.
“Come back to me, Roy, please. I’m here. You’re safe.”
I tried to focus on the low murmur of that familiar voice, on the sweet scent in my nose that I recognised, and the cheek pressed between my pecs. Slowly the dizzy feeling subsided.
“Hey, tiger boy, welcome back. What happened just now?”
“I don’t—”
“You spaced out. Did something happen today? Or was it something I did?” Kat leaned back in my arms, that had sneaked around her, seeking comfort. Her dark eyes looked concernedly up at me as they searched my face.
“You’re angry.”
Shit, you sound like a child.
“I am.” She nodded, then ran a hand from my temple down over my cheek and cupped the back of my neck. Istared at the space between us, trying not to meet her eyes. “I am mad, but not at you. Do you hear me, Roy?”
“I hear you.”
“But do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” I said mechanically. My brain knew it was Kat, not Abbie, and that Kat would never hurt me. My body’s response spoke a different language altogether. Stuck somewhere between freeze and flight, I couldn’t even meet her eyes. Perhaps Abbie had been right. I was a useless waste of space.
What person could want me? Someone so weak and pathetic?
“Baby.” It was the soft caress of her voice even more than the term of endearment that pulled me out of my racing mind, at least a bit. “Tell me what’s on your mind?” She opened the space for me, not demanding I fill it but offering it. I appreciated the gesture more than Kat would ever know.
“I… What if Abbie was right? About me?” I blurted out before I could stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth. “I’m weak, a pathetic loser. What if she was right all along? I could take it. I mean, it didn’t really hurt me, did it? Perhaps she was right and it was what I deserved.” I’d spoken without second-guessing myself, saying everything that had festered in me out loud. Absentmindedly rubbing the space over my heart, I noticed that I felt lighter, as if a splinter embedded in the muscle for so long I’d forgotten about it had been drawn out.
Kat’s long exhale followed by a discreet sniff brought me back to reality. Silent tears spilled out of her eyes, and I followed their path with my fingertips, down the familiar curve of her face, catching them at her jaw.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to cry. Shit, I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around. I wanted to be strong for you.” Her voice cracked on the last words and she wiped her nose impatiently on her sleeve.
“You are the strongest person I know, rudra.”
“Is that Bangla?”
“Yeah.”
“What does it mean?”
“Sun. Because that’s what you do, you’re bringing the sun back into my life after I’ve been stuck in the dark for so long.”
“Oh, come on,” Kat huffed as fresh tears spilled out of her eyes. Sliding her arms around my waist once more, she rested her forehead against my chest and started sobbing into my tank top.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kat
Calming down enough so I could trust my voice took way longer than expected. When I freed myself, my face felt hot and blotchy from crying, and–judging by what I felt when I tried to brush the strands away from my sticky skin–with an imprint of his ribbed tank top on my forehead.
Bringing the sun back, my ass.
Then I spotted the large wet spot between his pecs where I’d cried into his shirt. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”
