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In fact, my heart insisted that it was a very real possibility.
Cam glanced back at me then went back to dragging his fork through the leftover syrup on the plate. “I dunno. I just figured maybe since Eric was back that you might want more kids.”
I thought his words over carefully. He hadn’t said hewanteda sibling, just that he assumed it was somethingIwanted. “I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but how would it make you feel if it did?” I asked.
He shrugged, but after a moment, he peeked over his shoulder at me, and there was an eager sheen to his eyes that was hard to ignore. “It would be all right, I guess.” He wasn’t fooling me for a second. He wanted this, but he was scared to admit it. Adults were the ones who made the big decisions, theimpossibledecisions, and it didn’t matter how much kids kicked and screamed. If it wasn’t in Cam’s best interest, it wasn’t going to happen.
But maybe… just maybe… Eric wasn’t just what was best for our son, but also for me.
So help me, I couldn’t believe I was actually thinking about it. Eric said he wanted it all—marriage, house, babies—a future, and he wanted it with me.
Was that something I wanted too?
18
Eric
Thenoisychatterofthe locker room faded into the background as I stared down at my phone, reading Jasper’s text for the fourth time.Be careful out there today.
It was the first I’d heard from Jasper since Friday night. He’d been radio silent since I sent him a text on Saturday that said simply:Miss you. I didn’t want him to think I was an alphahole who’d used him, but I also didn’t want to push him too hard, too fast. I wasn’t overly worried about his silence, because I’d left him with a lot to think about, and he was the type to weigh all the pros and cons to any decision. If—when—he chose me, it would be because he trusted in us. He knew what I wanted. My end goal was to build a life with Jasper and Cam. Now he had possession of the ball, and I was just waiting for the pass before I could rush him, full speed ahead. I would propose marriage today if I thought it wouldn’t scare the shit out of him.
Christmas was coming up, and we hadn’t talked about it. I was dying to ask, but now wasn’t the time. I had hoped I might be able to wake up at Jasper’s house on Christmas morning so I could be there to watch Cam open presents. I didn’t need any other gifts than that; to be with my family was more than I could ask for.
“Meeeow,” someone said, and when I turned to look, Schuster made a clawing motion with his hand, and a few of the other guys laughed.
“What?” I asked, lost. It was clear they’d been talking about me, but I’d been distracted by Jasper’s text.
Schuster’s smile morphed into a leer. “That omega of yours must be a real wildcat to mark you up like that.”
My hands instantly clenched into fists, my skin heated, and I stood to my full height. “I warned you to watch your mouth when talking about my omega.” I could feel eyes on us. Tensions were high before a game, but we needed to be working as a team, not bickering like teenagers.
“If you don’t want people talking about him, then you shouldn’t show up looking like you’ve been in a catfight.” He arched a brow then sauntered off.
I hadn’t seen my back, but Jasper had left a defined bitemark on my shoulder from when he came. A lot of the guys on the team loved to compare their sexcapades, but I didn’t want to reduce what I had with Jasper to locker-room gossip. It felt too personal, too intimate, to share with my teammates. Glaring at Schuster, I quickly pulled on my pads and fastened the buckles, followed by my jersey, covering up all evidence of our lovemaking.
Something was off today, a weird vibe in the air. It was the first time I’d felt dread instead of excitement before a game. While my body was here, my mind was with my family, my heart in Jasper’s pocket. Football had always been my dream, but now, there was something I wanted more.
My priorities had changed over the past few months, and football didn’t mean as much anymore. I was grateful for the opportunity I’d had, but the anticipation leading up to a game wasn’t as exciting as how I felt when I knew I was about to see Jasper. The thrill of the win was nothing compared to how I felt when my son gave me a hug. Maybe it was time to move on before an injury made the decision for me. I was almost 30, young by most life standards, but in the NFL, it meant I was close to retirement.
And I couldn’t wait for what came next.
My musings of the future were interrupted when our coach came in and gave us a quick rundown of our game plan, followed by a little pep talk. And then it was time for us to make our way to the field. My teammates were pumping each other up in their own way, feeding off the energy, but I felt so far removed from today’s game. I probably should’ve been worried about my lack of focus. Through the concrete hallway, our cleats created an echoing staccato, but growing even louder was the roar of the crowd.
“Let’s do this!” our kicker, Cummings, whooped.
As we emerged jogging onto the field, the warmth of the locker room leached from my body. Damn, it was cold. It was just barely 30 degrees, and even in the stands, the fans were dressed in thick coats and hats, mitts and gloves, most of which were in their team’s colors, a sea of red and white. I could see my breath as I ran onto the field. The air pricked at my face, and I swore it smelled like snow. At least the sky was overcast, cutting down on the glare.
The home team’s starting players were called, which set the crowd off with cheers and whistles, then it was time for the coin toss. We won and chose to kick. And just like that, the game began.
We got off to an early lead thanks to the other team fumbling the ball, running it down the field for a touchdown. We had a good standing in the season to date, and we had almost clinched our spot in the playoffs, but we weren’t going to back off now. After three quarters, the score was 25-7. It may not have been a particularly close game, but our luck could always change. We wanted to maintain our lead, and we were prepared to work our asses off for the win.
To keep warm on the benches, we had long johns under our pants, plus electric handwarmers and thick jackets, but I was glad when it was my turn on the field. The best way to warm up was to keep moving.
“Get out there and wrap this up,” Coach said, slapping me on the back as I shrugged off my jacket and jogged onto the field.
Out from the relative cover along the sidelines, I really felt the full sting of the wind. It had started to pick up, the clouds overhead swirling, a few snowflakes beginning to spiral down. It would make the grass slippery and add an element of danger to the game.
I rolled my shoulders and hopped in place a few times, getting my blood flowing. Adrenaline began to surge through my veins, my breathing loud inside my helmet. This was what I had lived for the past ten years. Even before that, all through high school, football was my life. But for the first time, there was a sliver of doubt creeping in…
