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“I told him to get lost.”
Talia goes silent for a moment. I switch the phone from one ear to the other, then back again. “And now you miss him?”
Damn. How does she always get this shit right?
“I don’t know,” I lie. “I mean, it’s not like we had anything worth hanging onto, right?”
“Hmm. That sounds like your head talking. But I’m guessing your heart says something different.”
Said organ gives a squeeze, as if to prove her right.
“Well, let’s talk this through. I mean, you liked some of it. You liked the kinky sex. You didn’t mind him fixing you when he was doling out your punishment, right?”
My heart picks up speed at the truth of her words. “Yeah.”
“But he overstepped with the job thing. Was that as a boss or as a boyfriend?”
I rub my ear. “Not sure. Both, I guess.”
“Does that interest you?”
“Maybe,” I admit. “But he should’ve asked.”
“No question there,” Talia assures me. “Are you going to go do the training? When is it?”
“Next week. And yeah, I guess. I mean, Blaze took me off the schedule, anyway. I don’t know how he thinks I’m going to pay the rent.” Except deep down I’m quite sure Blaze would’ve come to my rescue on that, too. And he would’ve enjoyed it.
And this time, the thought doesn’t piss me off. It just makes my chest ache. Whether it’s for Blaze or myself, I’m not sure.
* * *
Blaze
“I can’t help this time,”I snarl into the phone and end the call. Everyone and his brother wants me to help them move. This time it was Scott, who is helping out some friend I’ve never met.
Fuck that shit.
Lia was right. I have a savior complex. Correction: Ihada savior complex. No more. I’m over it. I don’t need to equate my self-worth to being everyone’s knight in shining armor.
Putting out fires is enough. I don’t need to rescue Samantha, or my parents, or my neighbors or my co-workers’ friends.
Lia is another story.
I do still want to be her knight.
Is that totally wrong? I guess it is.
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to fix this. I definitely thought I was doing what was best for Lia. I still do. But I also pushed my own agenda because it conveniently solved a couple of my own issues—namely, the illegal nature of our relationship, and me worrying for her safety.
I called Inspector Patton to report Lia wasn’t feeling well and asked to reschedule the job shadowing. I haven’t cancelled her training for fire inspector, but I can. I’ll lose half the fee, but I don’t give a shit about that. But none of that solves my real dilemma. How to win Lia back.
Because despite my resolve to back down and give her space, to stay out of her life if she wants, Ican’t.
I’m not giving up yet.
So now I have to figure out how to get a second chance. How to get a face-to-face to apologize. How to convince her I won’t steamroll her life again.
But what if I do?
