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CHAPTER 1
Ashton
I wake up in a hot sweat, my heart racing a million miles an hour. I bolt upright and take a few breaths, trying to calm myself. While my body shivers, I’m burning hot, like I might burst into flames.
I know why, and I’m not coming down with something. It’s also not the afterglow of winning the Stanley Cup a few days ago.
This always happens after I see my father.
I saw him today, and he wasn’t happy with me.
He’s never happy with me, so I shouldn’t be surprised. My whole life around him has been one up-and-down roller-coaster ride.
He's a difficult man, particularly in his later years.
My parents split when I was young, and their divorce was tough.
The custody arrangements favored my father to look after me primarily, as my mother cared for my younger sister, who was born with a mobility impairment. The court more or less stated she had enough on her plate. So, I went back and forth, seeing my mom on school breaks, as per the custodyarrangements.Until I came of age and was able to make my own decisions.
Moving from Florida to Seattle, where my dad, James Falcon, moved his business, wasn’t exactly what I wanted as a kid. I wanted to stay in Florida, but things just didn’t work out that way. So, no matter how unwillingly, I went with him.
I don’t know why my father even bothered having children.
It has always felt like me and Kate have been an unwanted distraction from him making his millions. I know he wants me to follow in his footsteps one day and look after his businesses when he retires.
It makes no sense to me because I’ve never shown an interest in doing any such thing.
I'm not interested in being a businessman.
One would think me making it big in my own right, as one of the best defensemen in the NHL for the Seattle Hawks, would grab his attention, but with my dad it’s like trying to grab a bull by the horns and shaking it senseless. I haven’t impressed him by ‘waving my hockey stick around.’
It’s one reason I’ve been urging my best friend and fellow Hawks’ teammate and best striker in the league, Taylor James, to patch things up with his dad. Except for a few away games, Michael James has been to every game Taylor has ever played growing up. Whenever the Hawks are in Seattle, he’s in the stands.
Taylor’s parents separated when he was young, too, and his dad has been trying to have a relationship with him ever since. They recently reunited, and things are going well.
I wish I had that, but I know I never will.
My mom is an angel. I swear to God they sent her down from Heaven.
She was born in Hawaii and came to Florida during college, where she met my father. They married young and had me soonafter; my sister Kate followed a few years later. Her disability may have triggered things, but I have no memories of him being devoted to any of us. If my dad hadn’t decided he wanted a divorce, I’m not sure mom would have ever left.
It broke her heart when I had to leave and live with him for most of the year. Neither of us could understand it because he was never a doting dad.
I honestly think he just wanted to brainwash me from a young age to work with him, pass on his legacy, or some shit. Maybe it was just to separate me from my mom and sister. Maybe a little of both.
He knew how much my mom doted on me, and maybe he wanted to hurt her even more by taking me away.
I kept my love of hockey a secret from him for as long as possible, training when I was supposed to be studying at my friend’s house. I made all kinds of inventive excuses when I was younger.
He wasn’t happy about putting me through college, only for me to end up skating around an ice rink, hitting a puck around. He was unaware of my career intentions, and by the time he realized, it was too late.
Ice hockey has been my love from very early on. I have always loved watching the games on TV.
I also loved going down to the indoor skating rink as a kid. I have the best memories of mom teaching me how to stand up on the ice and eventually skate. It’s because of her I can even be on the ice at all.She’s always been my biggest supporter.
That’s what I love about her the most. She was entirely selfless growing up. Devoting herself to mine and Kate’s upbringing.
I don’t know where my mom and dad went wrong. Maybe they weren’t meant for each other. When I look back, they seem like chalk and cheese.
