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I shouldn’t miss him as much as I do. I don’t want to admit it because we’re only just getting to know each other, but I’m crazy about him.
Maybe I was too excited with him, too eager.
But this has always been the way I am, and it always seems to get me burned. No matter what I do. This is exactly why I’ve plunged myself into work full-throttle, especially the past few years after the guys I’d dated never went anywhere.
I just didn’t see the point anymore.
Ashton was definitely unexpected.
It’s like having a slice of the pie with all the trimmings, and then it’s taken away before you can have any more. Ashton kind of pie, the kind I’ve always dreamed of but never believed existed.
“No change with his Dad?” I ask her.
She gave me an update when they left the hospital last night, and Ashton’s messages said things weren’t good.
She shakes her head. “No news. Just the same as last night. At least he made it through the night.”
Maybe I should call him.
I think about that some more while I navigate traffic.
Em has been staying with me before our vacation to Seattle, after she broke up with Doug, and their place sold just before we left.
I keep my thoughts about Ashton more on the silent side and try to change the subject.
“Tell me about how things are going with Taylor?” I ask. We have had little time to talk about it since she stayed in Seattle.
She smiles, resting back. “They’re better than ever,” she says. “It’s kind of like we were never really apart.”
“I’m so happy for you, Em.”
“I had no idea it would lead to this,” she goes on. “And it’s really because you were the one to convince me to go to that game.”
I wave it off. “Hey, I was just being pushy, that’s all.”
“Thank God for best friends.” She laughs.
“So, things are going forwards pretty quick.” I probe.
She glances at me and clearly can’t deny it. “Yes, and it’s even better than I remember.”
“I’m happy for you, Em. You deserve it.” To see my best friend find her happiness is the best feeling. It’s what we all dream of, and I’ve always liked Taylor.
“I’m happy, Mads. So, so happy. And I want that for you, too.”
“My time will come,” I tell her with a shrug. “It really will.”
“But you felt it with Ash.”
It’s not a question. She knows I’m a little nuts for him and hurt by what he did at the airport.
“Yeah, I felt it with Ash. It felt so different to the rest. We just fit, in more ways than one.” It almost feels like a lifetime ago, when in reality, it was only yesterday.
It shouldn’t feel like such a shock to the system, or that I’ve lost something.
I haven’t known him long enough. It’s not even rational.
Maybe it is just lust. In my heart, I don’t feel that it is, but maybe it’s just easier for me to believe than the latter.
