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“When do your Mom and Sister arrive?”
“Tomorrow. Hopefully, I can pull myself together by then.” I glance at her pretty face, watching the road. “Why don’t we get some takeout for later and chill out this afternoon? You must be beat.”
“I am starting to feel a little weary,” she says.
“Well, then it’s settled.” I squeeze her hand. There’s nothing more that I want to do than just be with her tonight and rest together.
We have a team meeting tomorrow, with a pre-season charity training game set for the day after my dad’s funeral. I don’t even know how I feel about that.
My head is so fucked up.
I’m trying not to think about how much there is to arrange and the aftermath of his business dealings. I still want no part of it. It was never my legacy.
I just wanted a father that would love me, but I’m never going to have that.
Not now. Not ever.
I can’t help but feel bitter about that. I don’t know what to do about it.
I suppose I could drown in the emotion and the unfairness of it all, but where the hell is that going to get me?
For tonight anyway, I decide to cast everything else aside and just be with the girl I’ve fallen for because right now, that’s the only thing that feels good.
I have to believe I’m allowed that, at least.
When we get back to my place, I rip open the package, to find a bunch of papers and an envelope addressed to me in my dad’s handwriting.
It’s weird to see his elegant script. That’s another trait I never got from him.
Maddie sits in the lounge, sending a group text to her friends that she made it here okay. She mentioned Emmerson would be back for the funeral.
She would have come with Maddison, I’m sure, but Mads having to drop everything and jump on a plane didn’t exactly give her time to confer with her best friend.
My impulse to have her here took care of that.
When she’s with me, I can’t imagine how the fuck I could ever leave her standing like that, watching my back. I don’t understand how I could ever leave her at all.
I know it’s never gonna happen again.
I perch on the couch and pull the letter out of the envelope.
Ashton,
If you’re reading this, it most certainly means something bad has happened to me.
As unfortunate as that is, there are things you need to know.
After all, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t have some kind of contingency in place?
I’m sure you would expect nothing less from me.
Our relationship has never been easy, and it’s not because you weren’t the son I always wanted to call my own. But there’s a part of me that believes you were never mine to call that in the first place.
Until this point, I can only assume that Nalani has not revealed the secrets of the past to you. There is a part of me that wishes I could have been the one tobring it all to the surface, and not even for my own agenda, but because I truly feel you deserve to know.
My entire existence since you were born has been one big conundrum.
Your mother was already pregnant with you when we got together.
