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His eyes fluttered open, and he stared at me a long moment, those dark, fathomless eyes utterly unreadable. “Yes. Fuck. Please kiss me,” he practically growled.
So I did. I kissed him lightly to start, my lips the barest whisper of a touch against his. He sighed against me, his lips moving almost restlessly.
Then Danvers deepened our kiss, his hand sliding up my back to force me closer. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, and he moaned, a beautiful sound. I did it again, letting the quiet joy of the moment fill me up inside.Yes.I wanted it more than I’d ever desired anything in my life. He kissed and kissed me, his lips hungry and his tongue streaking against mine, but he made no other move for more. It was as though he understood the rules, too. We needed so much, but not too much, lest it destroy us.
Finally, he stopped, his breathing was hot as it washed over my face. The solid heat of his cock pressed against me, and I blinked at the realization. Another pulse hit me, pooling in liquid heat deep within me. If he touched me, I would be wet, slick with need for him.
Our bodies were certainly awake and willing.
His dark eyes held my gaze, keeping me captive even as I tried to calm my own racing breaths. “You’re so beautiful. I would’ve hit on you the moment you walked into my bar. And I mean hit on youhard. Like, ridiculously so. You probably would’ve rolled your eyes at me and ignored me.”
I stared at him, studying his handsome and rugged face. “In this hypothetical situation, where we’re not possessed, and I walk into your bar? You should know that I was, and probably still am, a total dork. I don’t know how to do bars. Well, except the one where Ryker feeds me lunch, because his cousin owns the place, but I’m pretty sure lunch doesn’t count. I’m stupid in bars. I trip. I break things. I don’t get hit on, not by anyoneand certainly not by men who look like you. I leave after about twenty minutes, then I go home and play video games.”
At least, that was the way things used to be, in the before times. My roommates used to try to take me out, then they’d call me later to come get them. Inevitably, they got too drunk, while I was home, probably playing an RPG and drinking soda.
The definition of boring.
“Even more likely I would have hit on you. I would have loved it if no one else noticed you. Gorgeous girl, little bit lost, no idea how appealing she looks? Forget it. I would’ve kept you at my bar all night trying to get you to like me.”
I smiled at him. “Danvers, the attention I get now—which I think has to be related to her, and not me—I didn’t get before. I’ve always pretty much been a nothing.” I shrugged. It wasn’t sad or anything, it just was the way it was.
He stroked my hair, gently. “Me too.
I rolled my eyes since I found it beyond hard to believe. “You owned a bar. Andlookat you. Danvers, you practically define the word sex. All this ink.” I ran my hand up his arm, sliding my fingers over the swirling- color- covered muscle. “The muscles. I doubt very much you were a nothing.”
He kissed the end of my nose, then stroked his nose against mine. “I put on a good show, that’s for sure, but it was to cover a lot of things. I wish I hadn’t, in retrospect. I wish I had been myself, that I told people the truth about what was going on with me. I wish…I wish I had been better at being me, so that, when it ends—and let’s face it, that’s going to be soon for me—then I would at least know at some point I was authentic.”
It broke my heart. I might not have been much, but I was always myself. “What were you lying about? And were you lying to yourself or to others?”
He winced. “I opened that door, so it’s fair if you have questions. Here I am, and I can be authentic. I’m literally in your arms, hard as a rock, unable to do anything about it, right?”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I resisted looking down, but only barely. Although I felt his hardness, somehow him admitting it made it seem more intimate. I didn’t look away, though.
He continued, his voice gruff. “And I’m still struggling with this. My demon didn’t kill my aunt because he decided to randomly take out a family member. He did it because she used to do bad things to me when I was a kid. He thought he should kill her, assert his dominance over her. Since I was such a wimp and couldn’t do it myself. Plus, he wanted to try jail for a while, so it seemed like a good idea.”
I kissed his neck, breathing him in and enjoying both his salty maleness and the smell of his soap. He drew me even closer, allowing me to nuzzle against him. “Bad things?”
“Yes, she didverybad things.” I didn’t ask for more since he didn’t elaborate. I could imagine many possible bad things. “My family doesn’t know it, and I doubt they’d believe me anyway. They just think I killed her for no good reason. They don’t care that I’m possessed. They never wanted me back, and that has nothing to do with the demon.”
Sometimes, there really weren’t good things to say. “I’m sorry.”
“I was awake when he did it, too, by the way. I wasn’t under. I was right there, and I saw the whole thing. And, worse, I think I wanted him to do it.” He closed his eyes, shifting his hips against me restlessly. “So you should know you’re being held and kissed by a person who isn’t particularly wonderful.”
“Danvers,” I whispered before I kissed his chin. “It’s okay to forgive yourself. Sometimes I like when she does bad things. I love it, even. I think it’s part of it.”
He smoothed my hair away from my face. “Like I said, my dream girl. You’re stuck with me now. He is going to follow you around for a while, anyway, and I can’t say that I mind it.”
The strangest sensation filled me. Pressed so close against him, our bodies entwined, I could suddenly feel the duality of him. Two parts—one Danvers, the other, his demon. But they weren’t one being—some parts might be made of both of them, but I could feel the separation between the two.
I sat up a little, concentrating on the shape of the thing, and he furrowed his brow. “Addalee? Are you okay?”
My hand itched, and I smoothed it over his stomach, his muscles warm and inked under my touch. “I…I need you to trust me for a moment.”
“Sure.” He smiled at me, brow clearing. “I mean, I know we don’t really have a past yet, but I feel like I know you. As well as I’ve ever known anyone, at least.”
I understood the sentiment, but right then, I could only focus on his demon. The door opened, and Nathan entered, carrying two plates, Cruise and Ryker right behind him.
They wanted something, but they would have to wait, because I was busy with…something—I just wasn’t surewhatyet.
